His Treasured Possession

(re:)acquainting

2012-01-25T16:23:00.006-06:00

Hi!

Um. Hola!

Hm. Hallo?

Sure is awkward typing up a first return blog post. I suppose a summary of the last few months would be good, right?

We are nearing the end of house renovation project. We started at the beginning of August and except for about 3-4 weeks, it's taken up the rest of our time. We have been so blessed to have my father in law be the one in charge. Abel has been spending every Saturday there (except over Christmas) working as well. We are so excited to finally enjoy the fruit of our labor...and has it ever been LABOR. I may save it for another time, but there have been several spiritual analogies that came out of this process. We are fully enjoying having my in laws here. All of our family will be sad to see them go. I am blessed to enjoy my husband's parents and my children are sure grateful to have so much time with them during this season of life.

As we've said in previous Januaries, Abel and I have set some goals for this year. 2011 saw me only reach one of my three and I was able to celebrate that goal this last weekend with about 1271 other women. It was so much fun! For 2012, we were able to agree to take serious measures for our health. By God's grace, I found a personal trainer that comes to our house and trains us three times a week for a more than reasonable price. We just love Jonathan and are so grateful for his commitment to serving his clients. Abel and I have already seen significant results. To get me ready mentally read for my new life, I read an incredible book by Gary Th0mas called Every Body Matters. This is NOT a how to book. There are 500 million of those on the market already. This is WHY book. WHY should we exercise, WHAT is the purpose of spending time exercising, and TO WHAT END should I pursue health. These were/are critical questions for me. My time is valuable. My resources are limited. My health concerns are important. However, I have been afraid for many years that this was idolatrous, that taking care of *me* would be selfish. Gary has done an excellent job of correcting my flawed thinking and showing me that up until recent Church history, slothfulness and laziness were considered a big deal. I do want to say too, that Gary does not in any way throw us overweight people under the bus. He reminds us that we have no idea about a person's health circumstances or back ground. And to belittle the way a person looks is to judge them. And that is not our job. We need to look in our own heart and give abundant grace to others. I highly recommend it be read by everyone!

Homeschool has been quite a ride this year. I feel like we're barely hanging in there...Abel and I are already praying about our options for next year. I feel like there are no good answers right now and that is frustrating. I know God is laying a path even now and He'll show us the way when it's time to take the next step.

I am very excited to be on the steering committee for Living Proof Life Long Beach this October. One of my jobs is the Social Media coordinator and as such I'll be looking for helpers...not to mention blogging, faceb00king and Twittering about it. (if you're interested in serving with me, leave me a COMMENT! ;) )

Well, I think this post is screaming "Put me out of my misery!!!" Hopefully, me and blogging will play nice and join hands again. I've missed it. I've missed you. I look forward to getting reacquainted.

(re:)Writing

2012-01-23T16:23:00.002-06:00

I may be ready to start blogging again...

Stand by for news!

experimenting...

2011-05-11T17:05:00.003-05:00

I've been a little irritated with Blogger...so I'm trying something new and bare my heart over here today. If you click over, would you let me know how user friendly commenting is (if you so chose to do so)

Thanks a bunch. I'll let you know where I end up!

Updated "Helping Alabama"

2011-04-29T12:22:00.002-05:00

Friends,

Lora Lynn has posted an update on helping these specific families I mentioned yesterday.

Please click here to give financially via paypal. As she said, THEY LOST EVERYTHING and need everything. Nothing given would be set aside. Rare are these opportunities. Please give as you can. We absolutely trust the Father, our ultimate Provider, to watch over these precious people.

thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
rachel

Helping the South

2011-04-28T10:23:00.004-05:00

My heart is devastated for my friends in Alabama. Please lift them to the Father as you go about your next days. So much loss. So many needs.

My friend, Lora at Vitafamiliae, is organizing some efforts for three families who lost everything in Ashville, AL. One family particularly is this one. Several children are in the hospital and one father died. She is needing anything that can be given. A new baby was born just last week. There are several children of all ages and of course the adults. If you'd prefer to give financially to help with generator costs (it needs gasoline) or with hospital/ recovery expenses, we can do that too. If you're interested in helping please email me or leave a comment with your email and how you'd like to participate.

Rise up CHURCH!! Let's us pour out the love of Christ lavishly on our fellow man. At such a time as this.

prayerfully,
rachel

Resurrection Celebration

2011-04-24T10:22:00.001-05:00

Happy Easter! Let's Celebrate Eternal LIFE in Jesus Christ!

This video made my international heart thrill. Is there anything like seeing brothers and sisters celebrating the same LORD across the globe? Enjoy!

Rise UP!!

2011-04-14T12:04:00.002-05:00

The Fragrance of Spring

2011-03-06T11:50:00.015-06:00

I'm home from Church this morning with Peter who has a nasty cold. Thoughts have been running through my head all week as I'm enjoying the early spring beauty that comes to Southern California. (I don't mean to torment my friends still deep in winter!) So while the family is gone and the baby is napping, I thought I'd take time out of a crazy busy homeschooling life, to share how Spring is affecting me this year.

If you've ever been in So. Cal. in January or February, you know Spring is sprung! My neighbor's sweet peas have been blooming for at least 3 weeks now and it's one of my favorite smells. On a Tuesday in February, as I was packing up the car for our CC time, I could smell those buds. Oh, it was wonderful. I came in and told Abel he had to go outside and experience it too! He didn't smell a thing. However, he told me later, he decided to try again right before we all left the house. Taking a deep breath, he was only greeted by the stink of skunk!! Poor man (unless you're my sweet mother in law who happens to like the smell of skunk!) I had a good chuckle on his account.

This last week, the kids and I (and my mother in law) were out walking around our cul de sac and again, the fragrance of the many blooms permeating the air. It truly reminded me of my family's vacation in Hawaii 25 years ago. Funny how smells trigger memories! Providentially, my SSMT verse for March 1st was 2 Corinthians 2:14 (ESV)

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.

I was absolutely struck with how my life and this verse were intersecting so immediately! My first observation was that the flowers hadn't moved. God did all the work. They were always in the same location over those many weeks but for a hundred feet, I could smell them. It was pleasant, made me happy, delighted my senses, encouraged me that Spring was here after a cold and rainy "winter." The fragrance is stronger when the wind blows and marine layer (similar to fog) rolls in. How funny when seemingly "unpleasant" weather surrounds us, the smell is more intense! And I noticed last week, the sweet peas had apparently dropped seed into our yard because there is now a large growth in our flower bed.

My heart overflows with the similarities! Wherever we are, whatever kind of season in which we are walking with the Lord, we can fulfill our calling to be this pleasant fragrance that spreads the knowledge of Him...to a hundred feed, or beyond! My dear friend, Lora Lynn, just brought home a baby girl from Africa. And the whole story is so beautiful and encouraging. His Fragrance is all over them in this process. Following their journey, one cannot help but be encouraged by how the Father is deeply personal and concerned about the affairs of His Children across the globe. Even through the difficulties and potential impossibilities, they've shared how they've kept looking to the Father for his leading and guiding!

The storms and seeming unpleasant effects of a fallen world around us will only enhance and extended the smell beyond the singular flower bed. I think of the amazing story of Joanne Heim and the beautiful work of the Body of Christ to love and pray for her and encourage her family. This news, posted in her blog, has now spanned the globe (she lives in Colorado and people prayed for her in Africa, Australia and Asia!) The journey has encouraged people to see the Lord and his Goodness. It's even reformed (dare I use that word?! {wink}) the way angry believers view The Church. Incredible. Only God. And so it is with us, if we will allow the trials and tribulations of life to work His will in us. We too can proclaim His goodness, His mercy, His unfailing Love to a lost and dying world...and even be a fresh breath of life to discouraged brothers and sisters in Christ.

And wouldn't you know, because of the seasonal cycle of those plants, the seed has been planted, sprouted up and producing it's own fragrance in my own yard! (Great Commission, anyone?!)

I must honestly and sadly share, this is not always the case. When Abel took a deep breath and smelled skunk, the beauty of the sweet peas was unrecognizable. If we harbor sin, bitterness, or a bad attitude, any resemblance of our true identity in Christ will be covered up. Oh, that we would quickly put off those things which mask Him. I have been in such a place. I knew my heart was filled with such ugly things. And the sorrow I have over such stench that hurt others and myself. Don't go there, dear friends. Take care of business with Christ so you can be about Christ's Business.

You are loved, dear friends. I pray you are encouraged today. Press in and Press on in the Name of Jesus!

Happy First Birthday Peter!

2011-02-09T07:40:00.021-06:00

Sweet Peter,

Today, we celebrate your very first birthday. What a celebration for me and your daddy. All three of us (well, six really) made it. By God's grace, we're here. And we're so excited!

Ah, what a year for you and me. I felt like a first time parent all over again. I only posted part of your birth story...life was too crazy to take the time to write it out and think/process all of it. Your daddy was off to California a week after you were born; and though family was in town to help and our church was standing in the gap too, I was juggling my new life in a new way. The good news is that I "tweeted" and "faceb00ked" your induction. That's a first! So, I can now tell your story, a year later, and feel like I am reliving it like yesterday.

Daddy and I got up around 4:45 a.m. to get to Wesley by 6 a.m. for the induction. I'd not been induced before but we definitely wanted to make sure Daddy was around for your arrival. He had missed the ultrasound and that was so sad. We had opted to keep your gender a secret! That was a first too.

We arrived on time (not too difficult in Wichita at 5:40 in the morning) after Nonnie and Grandfather said farewell. They were staying with your brothers and sister while we were all at the hospital. Checking in was a breeze...easiest by far and that was probably because we were "scheduled" and they pulled all our registration paperwork together this time. Yay!

We didn't have to wait long to get into a room and by 6:54 a.m. the pitocin was going. An hour later, I decided to go ahead and get the epidural. Nothing was that painful yet, but knowing how it can take the Anaesthesiologist awhile to arrive, I thought better now than later. Boy we had a good block this time. However, you were not the biggest fan. By 9:30 you were a bit distressed. I got put on oxygen and they turned down the pitocin. Shortly after that, the Resident broken my water. This seemed to settle things a bit and at 11:17 a.m. I wrote, "Baby doing better, I'm off O2 and pitocin, and all my nurses and husband just went to go eat lunch. Baby just wants to do this by him/herself ;) 5/6 cm, -2/-1 ~ a ways to go still."

Yes, there was still a ways to go. I did try to rest. We had a nice room with a window...again, the first time I'd had a window in delivery. We had had a blizzard in Kansas two days before and it was still very beautiful outside...a LOT different than the 75 degree weather we've had in Orange county this week. Daddy brought his laptop and I checked email and FB. Mostly, I wanted to rest. I prayed too. Just because I had done this before didn't mean I was self-sufficient. And that has been the lesson this year in a nut-shell. About 12:30 p.m. the doc was concerned that your umbilical cord could be compressed, causing your drop in heart rate, your distress. They decided to place an internal monitor to watch this. That didn't hurt but I was getting concerned. My body wasn't progressing and you weren't happy. None of this was as before. My prayers continued to the One who'd formed your yet unseen body. He knew. He cared. I was so thankful for a great group of medical staff. And as it turns out, I finally met the last doc in my practice! All three pregnancies in Kansas, I never saw him. But he came to check on things while my regular OB was seeing patients.

There was the possibility of needing to deliver you via C-section. Oh, how I prayed this would not happen. With the way our life was set up, I didn't know how I could recover from that by myself. Truly, I know that wouldn't have been the case, but I am glad that ended up not happening. The nurses kept checking and moving me from side to side...this and O2 were tools to keep you happy. At 2:21 p.m. there was no change. I was laying down trying to keep fairly still while my body worked but after a while, I remembered that your brother Nate didn't come until I could sit up. So I asked if I could. Doc said yes and so up we went. And wouldn't you know, PROGRESS. In little over an hour, we were ready to go.

Dr. Douthit* made it to the room, though he was "taking his time," as usual. I knew he'd be there, but I kept listening to your heart monitor. Though I was progressing, your heart beat would slow down so much during contractions, it really scared me. Doc was so good. He has delivered all three of you born there. But I think he could read "fear" in my eyes with those contractions...not like with Ethan because of pain and uncertainty for myself. But the fears of what was going to happen to you.

I think we pushed for maybe 12 minutes. It wasn't very long, which was a blessing, but it was longer than your sister. When your head came, though, we did see the cord was around your neck. Not tightly wound, but enough for me to be so glad that all our precautions were taken. You arrived at 4:04 p.m. and weighed in at 7 lbs. 6.5 oz. and 19 inches long. And of course, you were a BOY! We have a picture of you peeing on the Doc as he held you. Such a funny boy from the start.

We named you Peter Marshall, not knowing about the famous congressional chaplain. But Peter from the New Testament is such a role model of loving Christ and persevering through trials. Marshall is a family name, most recently your daddy's middle name. I just love the strong sound of it. And you are strong, my dear boy! You're taking your first steps and I wouldn't be surprised if you walk before any of your siblings did!

Other first year markers:

~you were both a good eater and good sleeper! Six days after your birth you were up 2 oz.

~you lost your umbilical stub on March 4.

~you were rolling from your tummy to your back both ways on March 21.

~you cut your first tooth October 9, your second tooth October 16 and started crawling October 24. (October was a big month for you!)

~you've had chicken pox, an ear infection and several colds, thanks to the rest of your family.

~you've moved halfway across the country.

~you now can say mama and dadda very well, when you have a mind to.

~you L.O.V.E. your puppy, you laugh when I make him "talk" to you, and you won't sleep without him.

~you want to be with your brothers and sister, even when they are outside (which I clearly cannot let you do alone)

~you want to be near people and right now, daddy is your favorite. You woke up saying his name this morning.

~you continue to need scheduled sleep...and getting to a schedule after our move, took MONTHS. We never had a child cry/scream for a full night and then part of a second, without passing out from exhaustion. Hardest thing for us this entire year, hands down, was to let you do it.

~frozen blueberries just about tops all other foods, which is nice because your teeth take for-ev-er to break through.

~you now have four teeth and more are coming...we can tell by your fussiness and drooling!

~you enjoy books as much as the rest of the family.

~your nicknames are "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater" and "Sugar."

~you look like Nate, act like Ethan, and are mothered by Charis. They all love you and are so very patient with you. This blesses daddy and me so much.

There are so many other things I want to record and remember. But that would take so long and the list could go on and on. As I put you to bed last night, I just loved holding you in the rocking chair. Tears streamed down my face as I thought of how much I love you and how I wish I could have enjoyed this year even more than I did. So many things happened, so many things changed, sweet Peter, and there was no controlling them. But I love you so much and am so, so, so, deeply thankful the Father saw fit to bring you into our family. He loves you even more than we do and we are confident that He will grow you in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. What a privilege to partner with Him to do so.

Happy First Birthday!

lovingly,

mama

Our January (in Photos)

2011-01-28T17:10:00.051-06:00

It's not for lack of words that postings have been a month in coming. We've just had a Very.Full.January. Here we are telling our story in pictures...with a little commentary on the side!

We started our year "attending" the Passion Conference online. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing it was to me and even the kids. Here's a glimpse of us getting our praise on.

Untitled from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Our temps were C.O.L.D. for So.Cal in the beginning of the year. The night I took this was beautiful! And we enjoyed an Astronomy night with our CC group. We got to see both Jupiter (and 4 of its moons) AND Uranus, as well as a Almack, a double star.

January 6th, family arrived to spend 10 days in So.Cal...their Christmas gift to our family. It couldn't have been better. We loved every minute!

First up, Somebody had a birthday. Hard to believe she's THREE years old now. Off to get doughnuts in our pjs first thing in the morning! Even grandma Kemi came along in the proper dress!

Charis chose her birthday outfit, I promise!

for lunch, our traditional (yet she still asked!) Red Robin celebration.

And after naptime, Birthday Party!!

And Grandma Nonnie drove down to celebrate too!

Then there was the Oregon v. Auburn game. The older 2 boys went to the hotel with daddy to watch. They really enjoyed themselves! Here's Peter...not so sure about rooting for the Ducks.

We started CC back up and got to show grandma what we do there...

Then, it was off to D-land! (wonderful things can happen when you homeschool!)

Peter did really well...and surprisingly slept during the day in the stroller!

We took the boys on their first rollercoaster rides at Disney.

Everyone was tired! But what a fun and truly magical day!

After a day to recover, we trekked on down to Carlsbad and visited Legoland!

My second verse for SSMT!

Ethan's CC tutor didn't return this semester (highly unusual!) and I was asked to take over. Here our my pupils the first week.

Somebody is not an easy teether. My home remedy includes motrin*, baby orajel*, and frozen peas and blueberries.

He also happens to enjoy popcorn more than cheerios.

We've enjoyed dinner and playtime with friends

I've tried my hand at new things in the kitchen (homemade noodles for homemade chicken noodle soup!)

Ethan has started reading (and REQUESTING to read) all on his own. Today, he read to Peter at breakfast!

He's still all boy, taking time to practice shooting targets during naptime.

And to top all of this off, we have now begun to search for a home. So. If it's another month until you hear from me, I just might have a picture of a future residence!

How has your year been so far?!

Happy New Year 2011

2010-12-31T18:08:00.015-06:00

ah, the start of a whole new decade. amazing. I'm thankful for all 2010 held and how God Himself held me and my family in everything we went through.

He is in the business of doing new things (Isaiah 43:18-19) and I, for one, am really looking forward to seeing what streams He's placed ahead. My prayer is to drink deeply of His presence, fill up with His Spirit and allow the overflow to bless those He has placed in my life. I wonder what 2011 will hold...there's so much to discover. How will He continue to grow me? What is on His heart to accomplish in me, in my children, my family? How can I participate in His Kingdom plan, serve those in need, bless those less fortunate, cooperate in doing His will on Earth as it is done in Heaven? Answers to these questions are in the living of the days ahead. I am excited yet fearful. O for grace to trust Him more.

Tomorrow, Abel and I will set our 2011 goals. I'm not sure what all of mine will be, but I do know I'll be joining several thousand women memorizing scripture! We all did this through Living Proof Ministries two years ago and it was just wonderful. Anyone is welcome to participate! If you haven't heard about it yet, find details HERE. I'm really excited to join two new church friends on this journey. My first verse of the year will be Psalm 100:4 (ESV)

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!

Additionally, I want to join Ann Voskamp in "multitudes on mondays" as you see at the top left of my side bar. I've started reading her book One Thousand Gifts (which I love...it's like she's inside my head!!) and have set my mind to be more thankful this year, to see God's hand in all things, yes, even the hard, difficult events. I purchased this beautiful new journal to start writing down my #1000Gifts (hashtag for Twitter people) and would like to blog some of them too. We'll see if it happens with school and all! If you get a chance, stop by her blog. She writes so beautifully, so poetically, so uniquely. I think you'll love it!

Usually, we try to have spiritual goals, physical goals and family goals. It's always been (fun?) to look back at the year and see what God has done. Then also to look at previous years to evaluate our progress. I've mentioned in the past we don't do resolutions because they are typically broken the following month. But goals (even if it's just a matter of terminology) seem more realistic to us. However, I saw this quotation by Jonathan Edwards and think it is a life long resolution that resonates in my soul.

"Resolved: that all men should live for the glory of God. Resolved second: that whether other do or not, I will."

How about you? Any goals, ideas or resolutions you'd like to share?

May the LORD bless you and draw you closer to Himself. He is so good and faithful to His children...and so much better toward us than He has to be. Let us continue to praise His name!

Boys' first Christmas Choir

2010-12-09T16:20:00.002-06:00

2010 Calvary Church Kids Christmas Choir from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

The Soft X

2010-12-03T07:32:00.002-06:00

Please go read THIS. So many of us are in the place of "The Soft X." I know I'm still working through several of mine.

Emmanuel. God with us.

He sees. He knows.

This means a lot to me as I've struggled off and on with wondering where He is and what He is doing. Last Saturday, listening to Christmas music, I heard these words:

What hope we hold this starlit night
A King is born in Bethlehem
Our journey long, we seek the light
That leads to the hallowed manger ground

What fear we felt in the silent age
four hundred years can he be found
But broken by a baby's cry
rejoice in the hallowed manger ground

I don't think I can adequately describe how these words impacted me.

God had been silent four.hundred.years. FOUR hundred. Can you imagine?

As believers in Christ, I don't think we can. Whatever quiet season we've walked with God will not compare, though I know it feels like eternity. Fear, doubt, frustration, sadness, anger all walk with us during that season. And then, it's over.

I've often wondered what to do with this kind of season. Do I just wait it out? Do I yield to it? Do I fight against it? Maintain Hope? I think the answer is yes to all of those questions. Life has cycles in every area. Women know this well, don't we. And we only have so much control over the externals in life. There are things and people for which we must wait. And we grow in patience and understanding.

Do we yield to the hardships? Yes, in a way. We know that pain and suffering are tools used to conform us to the image of Christ, to enrich our compassion for others. Not allowing our rough edges to be smoothed and refined could end up lengthening our season. Let's remember our yielding doesn't require the Lord to shorten our lesson. He's not a "this for that" kind of God. I strongly believe though that our cooperating with God on whatever He's allowing in our lives will enrich our experience and give us a greater testimony for others.

Can I fight this quiet? Oh, YES!!! And there is a huge reason. When we experience these lulls in our relationship with God, we can look to ourselves and others to satisfy us or console us. The "poor me" syndrome is lurking at our door, waiting to come in and sit a spell. As the Westminster Catechism reminds us, the purpose of man (regardless of where we are in our spiritual walk) is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We don't get a "pass" when God seems quiet to focus on ourselves, our agenda, our hurt. Additionally, we have our spiritual armor, a shield AND a sword. God means for us to fight with them. Do not let the Enemy count this season in his victories and render us ineffective. Stay plugged into the Word. Pray, even when you don't know what to say. You have a Great High Priest who is always petitioning the Father on your behalf. Participate in your Local Church. and sometimes that means crying through the entire service because you are so tender, so broken. We need each other and life is messy.

And just like the ancient Israelites, we must maintain hope. They believed God and His promises. How much more should we? We are believers in Christ and His Spirit dwells in us. We have the promise of eternity with Him. We know this world will soon pass away, that we are vapor. We know that our present sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. That is real HOPE.

Friend, I'm not sure where you are in the Soft X process but keep running, keep pressing on and pressing in.

Life is hard but He is worth it.

2010-12-02T13:13:00.003-06:00

Encouragement for worn.out.mamas

2010-11-30T10:31:00.004-06:00

This blog post so encouraged me.

I'm so maxed out with an incredibly fussy baby...on top off all the other stuff we've had to go through with him these last six months. Don't get me wrong. I know people would trade me "lives" in a second. But in the immediacy of "RIGHT NOW," I need to know this won't last forever.

And I might actually miss it. {highly unlikely}

Have to drive to our school time. Love y'all!

"This is the Day"

2010-11-22T14:44:00.003-06:00

describing perfectly my feelings, my hopes, my heart. He is worthy and I want to honor Him with this road I'm travelling right now.

Households Serving the Lord

2010-11-08T20:42:00.004-06:00

This post resonated with me because I am truly seeing families just d.o.n.e. with the materialistic society we're living in and turning back to the Word.

I'm praying for the Holy Spirit to empower my family to live for Him! Let's get serious about Godly Things!

For your giggling Pleasure

2010-11-03T16:44:00.002-05:00

Ethan and Eggee from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

clearly, we need to do more school. ;)

Losing It

2010-10-22T11:49:00.006-05:00

I think I'm losing my mind...or just not remembering what I've already posted. HA!

As I reviewed the previous post, I thought, "Didn't I already post some of these pics?" and yes, YES I HAD! gracious. Thanks for laughing with me.

I have to share a huge celebratory marker with you. I've been working on running 5 miles in 60 minutes since April 1st of this year. Despite not running for several years, parenting solo, having a baby, the move, the adjustments, the middle-of-the-night feedings, the shingles, today the goal was met. And I want to make sure you all know, it has been accomplished only by the grace of God!

A school by any other Name...

2010-10-18T14:36:00.000-05:00

I'm sure a homeschooling update is long overdue. Sorry. I've been working on name for so long! I finally abandoned using Deut. 6. The Shema was just not working!

On October 8th, we all went up to my parents to celebrate Abel's birthday and then on the 9th, mom and I got to hear Susan Hunt speak about the Legacy of Biblical Womanhood. She is incredible and has such a message for our time. What was most amazing was that out of the 320 or so people there, just about half of the women were 35 years old and under!

I know you're asking what in the world does this have to do with homeschool. I'll tell you! In session 2, Susan talked about passing the legacy from generation to generation. And she referenced Psalm 144:11-12

"Deliver me and rescue me
from the hands of foreigners
whose mouths are full of lies,
whose right hands are deceitful.

Then our sons in their youth
will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
carved to adorn a palace."

She made the point that both plants and pillars require great amounts of tending, time and training to make them fruitful and beautiful. Sometimes these processes are painful! But the yield, the final product makes the labor worthwhile.

As you can tell, this made such an impression on me. It describes my great desire in homeschooling: to have young men abiding in Jesus and bearing much fruit, to have a daughter who is beautifully carved to support the work of the LORD, whether in the church or as a helpmeet to her husband, giving stability to her home and the society in which she operates.

With these impressions firmly planted in my heart, I finally (three days late) filled out and sent in our paperwork establishing our private homeschool:

Plant and Pillar Academy
Headmaster: Dr. Abel Winn
Director: Mrs. Rachel Winn

{smile}

And with that, here are some pictures of our adventures in Homeschool 2010 and Abel's birthday weekend!

Mom and me heading to the conference

Beautiful table decorations and company!

This was such a special part of the conference. Susan (pictured at the podium) had all the girls college age and younger come up front. She told them they are living in a 'girls gone wild' culture but have been called to so much greater a position by our Father. Then she had women in the church come up and pray for each girl and commit to be willing to be involved in their lives, as God leads, in a Titus 2 kind of way. Precious!

Birthday Man!

Homemade cards from the kids ~ THANKS Dave Ramsey*!!

Yummy! And Charis doesn't usually like cake too much.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Plant and Pillar participates in Classical Conversations. Here is Ethan with his Tutor and classmates.

And someone is sitting and going to crawl soon!

End of September we took a trip to San Diego to see some friends and while there, went to Point Loma Lighthouse for a field trip.

Phonics Work...the long a vowel sound.

Using Susan Hunt's ABC Bible verses for our morning Bible time. I love this book and so do the kids.

We're set to go, usually by 9 a.m.!

Headmaster on his first day of classes at Chapman.

The Students: Ethan (first grade) Nate (pre-K)

Reading about Missionary Gladys Alward

(Ethan practicing taking pictures)

Guess which child is starting to phase out naps?

Guess who found some makeup while school was in progress?

And then was a wonderful mommy's helper later?

Days in the Life of our House

2010-09-30T11:37:00.008-05:00

Hugs from Over the Rainbow

2010-09-29T14:54:00.020-05:00

We are approaching our 18th week-a-versary here in the OC.

Incredible how, at first, life moved in such slow motion; and just these last few weeks, it's sped up like nobody's business. Must be all that homeschooling taking up my time, huh? Well, I know it's much more than that.

My emotions have had an ebb and flow to them. Thankfully (or not,) the painful times are fewer and farther between. But sometimes something happens or a memory hits me and it litterally takes my breath away and lays me out (emotionally) for a couple of days. I am not proud of this. It is very humbling to see how much I "propped" myself up in Kansas. More than I ever thought...How I saw parts of my living there as a part of who I am, and not just a part of serving the God who placed me there for a season.

Is this bad? Perhaps not in smaller doses. But I believe it probably was out of hand for me, considering the way I'm handling the move. I've been plain mad. I've acted like a spoiled child who didn't get her way. I've slapped the hand of God for the good He's brought because it wasn't the good I wanted.

I'm heartily ashamed. In all honesty, I can't believe I'm still standing here. When I pushed the envelope over an issue with my husband 2 years ago, I know the Lord sent some divine discipline my way. I could feel it and I had been warned. Perhaps this time, He knows the hurt is real and is more understanding? Or maybe, just as a 2 year old is handled more patiently than a 10 year old, perhaps that's how He is parenting me..since I was acting like a full blown 2 year old.

I really don't know. But despite my heart's inner attitude, He saw fit to allow me the special time with a dear friend from Kansas last Monday and Tuesday. I took the kids with me down to the Emerald City to spend the night. We spent some time with "Auntie Em" and her husband (who was there for a conference) and got some wonderful hugs from Over the Rainbow. Even with Peter having a mild case of chicken pox, it was a lovely visit.

Monday night my friend and her husband took us to Chuckie Cheese*. Oh, how the kids loved that. It was truly the cleaniest Ch.Cheese I've *ever* visited. Then Tuesday, we took her with us to Point Loma before having lunch and heading home. What a sweet time, one that was made even better by the knowledge that we'd see her again in April.

And this time, it didn't hurt quite so much to say goodbye. In some ways, I think that visit healed my heart a bit. I'm still not sure exactly how or why this is the case. But I am so grateful. Here's some pictures from our visit.

Biblical Encouragment for Women

2010-09-10T09:37:00.004-05:00

I have loved this ever since I first saw it last year. Every part of it resonates with my spirit. No idea why it's taken me so long to share it with y'all!

Copied from here.
A Challenge to Women
Download:
By John Piper January 1, 1995

1. That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.

2. That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.

3. That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven.

4. That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith. And that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.

5. That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world.

6. That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God undergirding all these spiritual processes, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things.

7. That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies, any more than men should fritter theirs away on excessive sports or aimless diddling in the garage. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.

8. That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.

9. That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.

10. That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give.

11. That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world. That you not only pose the question: Career vs. full time mom? But that you ask as seriously: Full time career vs. freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God's free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God's business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.

12. That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.

13. That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs.

14. That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative. That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.

15. That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God's ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about...

The awesome significance of motherhood

Complementing a man's life as his wife

Ministries to the handicapped
hearing impaired
blind
lame
retarded

Ministries to the sick:
nursing
physician
hospice care—cancer, AIDS, etc.
community health

Ministries to the socially estranged:
emotionally impaired
recovering alcoholics
recovering drug users
escaping prostitutes
abused children, women
runaways, problem children
orphans

Prison ministries:
women's prisons!
families of prisoners
rehabilitation to society

Ministries to youth:
teaching
sponsoring
open houses and recreation
outings and trips
counseling
academic assistance

Sports ministries:
neighborhood teams
church teams

Therapeutic counseling:
independent
church based
institutional

Audio visual ministries:
composition
design
production
distribution

Writing ministries:
free lance
curriculum development
fiction
non-fiction
editing
institutional communications
journalistic skills for publications

Teaching ministries:
Sunday school: children, youth, students, women
grade school
high school
college

Music ministries:
composition
training
performance
voice
choir
instrumentalist

Evangelistic ministries:
personal witnessing
Inter Varsity
Campus Crusade
Navigators
Home Bible Studies
outreach to children
Visitation teams
Counseling at meetings
Billy Graham phone bank

Radio and TV ministries:
technical assistance
writing
announcing
producing

Theater and drama ministries:
acting
directing
writing
scheduling

Social ministries:
literacy
pro-life
pro-decency
housing
safety
beautification

Pastoral care assistance:
visitation
newcomer welcoming and assistance
hospitality
food and clothing and transportation

Prayer ministries:
praying!!!
mobilizing for major Concerts of Prayer
helping with small groups of prayer
coordinating prayer chains
promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils

Missions:
all of the above across cultures
Support ministries:
countless jobs that undergird major ministries

Monkey Wrench

2010-09-09T16:08:00.008-05:00

Our topic today is shingles. And I don't mean the kind you put on your roof.

Shocked? Me too. Usually, an "older person's" ailment, I've often been told I look older than I am. But really? I never thought I looked 40 years older. Ha!

I am praising Him, though, for being so good to me, even in this. I'd had severe neck pain for 4 days, thinking I'd sprained it. And then I started developing the rash last Tuesday. Then on Friday, I had a doc appointment scheduled. And it had been set 6 weeks ago, at least!

During that appointment, the doc looked at my ever increasing rash with blisters and knew right away what it was and what to do. He prescribed an antiviral and I was told to rest and BE CAREFUL around the kids, especially Peter. Well, truly, only Peter. He's not been vaccinated against chicken pox yet. I was advised to pump and bottle feed or stop completely and go to formula. You'd have to know the kind of issues I've had with nursing Peter to know how HUGE the suggestion to stop feeding was to me.

Really, really enticing. No, I'm not kidding. Massive temptation.

I pressed on, in holy fear, with nursing my son. As long as I covered up the shingles all would be ok. And really, only if those sores had broken open was there possibility of infection. And I also thought that as there is such benefit in nursing (as far as antibodies are concerned) that switching to formula at this point could actually open a door for him to fall ill. (disclaimer: That was my decision. Not a trained medical personnel directive.)

Anyway, I'm moving away from the point. I'm still praising God today. No one else has gotten sick. The antiviral has really curbed the intensity of this outbreak. Things are even starting to heal a bit on the skin's surface. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of nerve pain. I know this can continue for some time (highly unlikely in my case but it can be up to a year!!) And let's be honest; it's frustrating that one side of my body continually aches, at times is sensitive to touch; that occasionally I have this "pinched nerve" feeling and I scrunch up in an odd way; and oh, how sad is it that my beloved Advil has stopped working after 10 days of continued use. The flu like symptoms aren't so fun either. Straight up, there's nothing comfortable about it. And to think older people, with weaker immune systems, tend to come down with shingles. Dear Lord, give them strength!

If nothing else, this has made me think of my father in law and how painful it must have been for him recovering from his illness several years ago (mylo-encephalitis). I'm so grateful for all that modern medicine can offer us. But, as my father in law says and demonstrated, at the end of the day, we still must rely on our Great Physician to, perhaps, fully heal our bodies and most assuredly give us the grace to endure physical pain and trial so that we may give glory to His great name. Last week, I thought of Job. And though it may be out of context, I certainly felt, "Though he slay me, I will hope in him..." Job 13:15

This is the stuff of life, what it's like to live in our fallen world. It's not pretty, oh no. When the uninvited comes crashing in, it's downright ugly . But these events demand we release the fanciful idea that we have control. We are called to lean upon our Savior. To beg for His mercy, to seek His strength to carry us. To yield to His Power that lives in us. We cannot be conquerors apart from Him. It's flat out impossible. However, we have the promise, if we belong to Him, after we persevere in trial, we will also share in His glory. Romans 8 fleshes this out so much more and I've found it to be an incredible encouragement of late.

This latest monkey wrench in my "plan" for my life reminds me to take Jesus at His word. I'm not going looking for the next "event," but I'm getting better at what to do when it knocks at my door.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:13

Pressing On and Pressing In.

We've got a new man in the house!

2010-08-30T21:47:00.001-05:00

I had planned on blogging our first day of school with my first grader.

but instead, I need to tell you my first grader just accepted Jesus into his life. He is, as he keeps saying, "a new man."

Hallelujah! And the angels are singing a good song tonight!

Roots

2010-08-25T10:30:00.016-05:00

I had a really good day yesterday. Best one in several weeks. Peter slept well and Tylenol p.m. let me do the same. Abel was home for a half day and I was gone for 3 hours in the afternoon, getting my hair redone and running a few errands before homeschool and my man's college classes begin.

It was a good, good day.

But, to be honest, I've have a lot of bad days since moving here. Just part of the grieving process, sure. It's still not fun, especially when I'm exhausted, caring for 4 kids, and trying to figure out how life needs to run in this new place. I've been desperate for a drink of Spiritual refreshment from church, but only in the last two weeks do I feel like my parched heart has been watered with the Word. So often I've cried out to the Lord, "How long oh Lord? How long?!" I've felt like a child of the Exile. But God had warned them...

What about me? I didn't hear a warning from God telling me that if I didn't get my act together, he'd send me away. (yes, I'm aware some of my dear friends consider this the Promised Land.) Who can know the mind of the Lord? He certainly shares it sometimes. This time, there was silence.

However, though my answer didn't come, instructions did. While reading a blog post written by someone in crisis, they referenced Jeremiah 29. I know it's a long few verses. But context is important.

These are the words of the letter that Jeremiah the prophet sent from Jerusalem to the surviving elders of the exiles, and to the priests, the prophets, and all the people, whom Nebuchadnezzar had taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. This was after King Jeconiah and the queen mother, the eunuchs, the officials of Judah and Jerusalem, the craftsmen, and the metal workers had departed from Jerusalem. The letter was sent by the hand of Elasah the son of Shaphan and Gemariah the son of Hilkiah, whom Zedekiah king of Judah sent to Babylon to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. It said: "Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream, for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in my name; I did not send them, declares the LORD. For thus says the LORD: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. (vs. 1-14)

I love this passage so much. The encouragement is really tangible. Perhaps He didn't send me into exile, but it's how I feel. So far from my home country. However, His plan for me hasn't changed. And he desires to have me thrive as much here as I did through the difficulties of last year.

"Live your life. Put down some roots!"

On a side note, I found it interesting how so many people quote Jeremiah 29:11 as a life verse but expect there to be no adversity accompanying the blessings. Did you see how God's declaration of knowing the plans for the Israelites to do good to them and not harm comes at a time when they think He's placed them in harms way? Did you see that He tells them, they will seek Him and find Him though they don't feel He's around at present?

Well, I'm getting off topic. My encouragement came in knowing I'm here for now. I'm to invest in my community just as much as I did in Kansas. Don't get me wrong. It's still not easy. But I know it's what He wants from me. And having some direction, even when it's difficult, is better than having no direction at all.

So, I'm continuing to press on and press in. We start school on Monday so blogging, while scarce lately, may be more so. Thanks for your thoughts on school names. We've not decided yet. Lots to do in a few short days. I'd better get going!

Calling all creative minds

2010-08-19T17:14:00.004-05:00

I need your help!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I do not feel equipped to homeschool my children. But we're moving forward. However, we need a name for our school!!! And so I'm asking for your thoughts. I wish I could send out a prize but not this time. {grin}

Here's some information to help you. I love the Shema so much. Love it. Truly, I take it (as perhaps we all should) as the call on my life as a mom. Here it is with the following verses:

Deut. 6:4-9 (NIV)
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I would love for our School's name to reflect this is some way. So, tell me, what do you think?! Send me your suggestions. I'll let you know what we do!

Mommy Rehab ~ pt 2 ~ Education

2010-08-16T11:29:00.009-05:00

Hello and Welcome back to Monday's Mommy Rehab, sponsored by B in Real Life.

Ever since I "promo-ed" my topic last week, I've been writing this post in my head. Little did I know that I was in for a U-turn week regarding school.

Spring of 2009, I really struggled with what to do for my oldest's education. He's a "May" baby and would be a younger student if he started Kindergarten. And then the whole moving-to-a-crazy-state-with-even-crazier-school-issues was a part of the picture. Not to mention my love of women's Bible studies. I would have to lay that down to take up a new role as chief home educator, one that intimidates me to no end.

After much prayer and seeking, I knew I needed to homeschool Ethan '09-'10. What I didn't know is that I would be doing this solo (for the most part), pregnant with child #4 and selling my house. ha! Good thing God doesn't tell us before hand all the ramifications of our decisions, right?

We made it though (and details are not appropriate for this post.) And I thought that year was going to be "it" since we've landed in a great district in Orange County. But I have a desire to have my kids educated in a particular manner. And an opportunity arose this last week for it to happen, while they school at home. I was thrilled. And so, in three weeks we'll begin the adventure of first grade for Ethan and pre-K for Nate, differently than I thought earlier in the summer.

Yeah for you, Rachel. What does this have to do with mommy-guilt?

I did not make this decision out of fear. I think we do this very often. Whatever the circumstance (schooling, extra-curriculars, church activities,) we allow fear to direct us, move us, and shape our family. Let it not be so! God is the Heavenly Father of your children. He has a plan for them and He wants you, as Mom, to participate, to yield, to demonstrate (and grow) great faith. Nothing is going to happen to your child, whichever direction He moves your family, that He doesn't know about already. My confidence and faith in Christ allow me to be completely free regarding education for my children.

Well, I feel as if this is terribly muddled. I am very well aware of the intense, emotional debate of schooling...pros and cons on all sides. This post is not addressing these issues. It's addressing our hearts. Let's give each other great grace, trusting that each of us is seeking the Heart of God regarding our kids. Let's keep the judgement, arguing, "side" comments, and I've-made-a-better-choice-than-you attitudes in check. Moms of every education genre do it: public school, private school and homeschool. It screams "INSECURITY!!!" Let's all be aware of this and make a conscience choice to stop the crazy cycle but be bound together in prayer. We are incapable apart from His power to do this thing right. Let's give all the glory to Him alone for our kids' educational successes.

Ok. all done. But I saw this on PW's site last Monday afternoon and got a good chuckle. It's like she knew I was writing this post and gave me a little something for extra credit! {simle}

Mommy Rehab ~ pt 1

2010-08-09T10:23:00.010-05:00

My friend, B had a neat idea for mom's who struggle with mommy guilt. We're taking it by the reins and saying, "NO!" Neat idea B! So here's my entry...

I had been thinking all weekend, "Do I have mommy guilt?" I thought it dissolved into "that's the way life is" when we had Charis. My kids just have to learn the world does not revolved around them.

Enter Peter (child #4 for visitors.) With a move and life looking different the "season" he was born (or maybe it's just a never ending case of mommy-brain) I've completely forgotten how to do so much. And because my brain was/is totally fried with the all-consuming-ness that is a move from Kansas to California, I truly didn't have the capacity to think about what what I should be doing. What a temptation to think he'd be scarred for life because I didn't do the same things with him as with the others.

But he continues to thrive. In fact, Peter is six months old today. Amazing how time has flown. He's reaching milestones appropriate for him. And really, it's great! I've had to come to a point with each child where I see them for the individual he or she is. Made in the image of God and worthy of the time it takes to see his or her particular bent. It'll make implementing Proverbs 22:6 a *touch* easier.

What isn't easier are the repercussions of having an idea of how to raise your kids that may not correspond to your friends. How many post-Church lunch invitations have we had to say "no" to because naps are screaming our name. Talk about mommy guilt. Enough "no's" later, people stop asking. Well, I've stopped worrying about it. The calling to be the Guardian, the Gatekeeper of my home is precious. No one else gets it but me. And if for a season, whether it's due to naps or plain old "we can't afford lunch every Sunday afternoon for 6 people," I alone know the capacity of my kids. And that's wonderful.

Well, now, I've probably offended half of you and bored the rest. I'll sign off for now. Come back next week if you dare and I'll address the next phase of mommy-guilt: homeschooling!

"Stop that Buzz. Move that Net!!!"

2010-07-31T21:01:00.006-05:00

Ethan just finished his last day of his first week of VBS. He loved it!

Since it's right around the corner from our home, I got to take Nate, Charis and Peter for the last 15 minutes. Nate and Charis loved the music and really enjoyed seeing all the money make the "net" go higher.

This year, VBS was raising money for mosquito nets to protect the people of Africa from malaria. The would shout "STOP that Buzz. MOVE that net!!" You would not believe these kids. Every day, they would bring more money than the day before. The last day of VBS these 1-5th graders brought in $2400!!!!! A grand total of $6700+!! Incredible and so generous. So many stories of sacrifice (ie, two sisters gave up their iPod* savings.) Nate even wanted to participated with his dollar from Nonnie for taking care of Scooter (Charis did this too) ~ I was so proud!

Anyway, here's a few snippets of the Friday evening Celebration of the week. Ethan was asked to share a story he learned. Again, I was so proud. The verse is John 3:16 and he *first* learned it in Cubbies at FEFC Wichita. {simile}

Ethan's VBS celebration from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Taking "ME" out of it

2010-07-15T09:38:00.013-05:00

A dear friend posted this today. And. I. loved. it.

So many marriages are in trouble. At least once a month for the last several months, I've heard about a couple splitting, their marriages ranging from 20+ to "newlyweds." People I know. My heart aches. I'm sick to my stomach. God save us from ourselves. please!!

Having travelled a rough season myself, I know what her post is about. I've had to ask myself tough questions. And so I pose them to you: Are we willing to do the hard work? Make the tough decisions? Self-sacrifice? Do the "OUR" plan and give up the "ME" plan? As Gary Thomas states, Marriage (God's plan for marriage) isn't just about being happy, but about holiness. About being more like Christ and less like me. To take "ME" out of life and put HIM into it. Make no mistake, sweet single friends, this is the hardest thing you will ever do. Self sacrifice does not come naturally and it often sneaks up on us, unnoticed until we're smack dab in the middle of a mess. And wrestling comes. But when you endure the hard parts without becoming bitter (and sometimes, it's just plain fear of the Lord that makes you endure and release bitterness!) there is such a sweetness in marriage that you cannot replace.

And the places you go with God make it so worth it.

I promise.

I think my friend will be blessed more than she knows. And more than that, her CHILDREN will be blessed by God, their character shaped because of her. How incredible the influence of wife and mother. What an example in our day and age.

Blessings on your new Adventure! Looking forward to next season's "Farmer Files: Boston Edition."

Moving Forward

2010-07-14T11:06:00.008-05:00

Well, I had a breakthrough yesterday, praise the Lord! (I know so many of you have been and are praying. THANK YOU!!!)

Kelly Minter's "Ruth" study is incredible. So many great insights so far. A Divine "that's enough. let's move on." was issued to me though Week 4 Day 2. "We have known a time when God asks us to take off our clothes of mourning, clinging, grasping...even praying for something & move forward...When we're wrapped in garments of mourning, we're unavailable for whatever else God has for us...and though our hearts... may always ache, we won't stay in our mourning clothes forever." She loves Isa. 43:18-19 and so do I. How could I have forgotten it?!

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

And this morning, I heard a song by Natalie Grant* and I know it's describing this process very well. I am getting ornery with the Enemy now.

I will not be moved
I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why...

[Chorus:]
I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

[Chorus]

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved
(for the {ahem, weird} video, click HERE)

And since things have been a bit serious here lately, I must share this with you to lighten it up. Calling all Star Wars* fans!!!

Growing Pains

2010-07-11T20:09:00.008-05:00

Today our Sunday School was small. Only one other couple and three mentors. Everyone else was out of town, skipping, or on the class camping trip.

One of the mentors told me a few weeks ago he came from a Jewish background and I was intrigued. I had him tell me his story today. At the end, he mentioned because most of his family doesn't share his faith, our class is his family, nieces and nephews. Our children become his grand-nieces and nephews. He loved the way the Body of Christ is, in my words, his Forever Family. And right there I knew exactly what he meant.

This week, I wrote a friend that I feel like (without trying to be too dramatic) I've lost my identity. I don't mean"in Christ" because I know who I am in him. But where I fit in this new place, how I will participate and contribute to my church, etc. And of course, this last year, I feel like I've been thrown curve ball after curve ball and now I'm so crossed-eyed I can't see straight!! I don't feel like myself and I don't even think I look like myself. My brain is on overload trying to figure everything out and be watchful over the affairs of my home. Praise God our town is fairly safe!

Today I told Abel, I'll be so glad to stop being distracted in Church. Can I tell you how mad I get at myself for not being able to just let it go and worship without hindrance?!

Blasted flesh.

This morning, my mind turned to another phrase I wrote my friend. "I'm learning to pursue contentment." I wasn't sure if I had Biblical grounds for that or not, then I turned to Philippians 4:11-12.

"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I think I had it right. Paul is saying here that contentment is something in which he learned and that it had been a secret. This must mean at some point in time, he wasn't content. And who do you think taught him the secret?! You bet! The Lord himself! Not everyone gets to learn how to be content.

But WE DO!!!

How beautiful this is to me.

I didn't think this move would be easy. And it wasn't. In fact, it's probably been the hardest of my life for various reasons. But I'm determined to set my mind to pursuing contentment. It doesn't negate my feelings or my experiences. You've heard me say again and again, I want what Christ has for me. I pray this is a quick lesson. But I've apparently not learned it yet. And I want to get on that. tout de suite.

Welcome Home

2010-07-08T11:22:00.005-05:00

Well.

It's been over 6 weeks since my last post. Let's update it a bit, shall we?

Too much has happened really, to update you on everything. But I'm just not getting over a month long "cold" and so is Peter (who is now 21.5 weeks ~ 5 months tomorrow!!!) Nate turns four on Saturday. Time is my enemy. seriously.

Our house is pretty much pulled together, except a few things. With that said, I give you a tour of our house. The video is "spliced" together from 2 different days, so my commentary doesn't make much sense at the end (you'll see.) But I hope you get a feel for it.

CA home tour from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Worthy

2010-05-22T10:34:00.008-05:00

I should be packing.

And I will get back to it. But these thoughts have been whirling around in my head and I must write them down.

As we've been busy getting this household ready to move, my emotions have been all over the place. Different goodbyes, some not realized until afterward that they were final, have been difficult. I am not looking forward to church tomorrow. I know I'll cry through the whole service.

I've wondered to myself: who does this? who moves their entire lives and continues to invest in new places? who continues to seek friendships in all its forms in every place? who would put up with it?

I do.

Not to beat a dead horse, but I have moved my entire life. This place is the longest I've lived anywhere in my. entire. 31. years. And it means more to me than most any place because of my investments and my children. This was supposed to be home. Forever. We weren't supposed to move again.

Well. You can see how that has worked out. And I'm now looking at our new location skeptically, remembering how young my man is in his career and that in the 25+ years he'll probably continue to work, we'll probably move again. and maybe again.

It will not get easier, I assure you. I long for a permanence I have never known. I'm searching for my promised land, my place of rest. It eludes me. for now.

I've wondered about my reasons for doing this. Abel was presented with the opportunity almost 3 years ago. And three years ago, I pitched a royal hissy-fit with God. It affected my marriage in a huge way, though mostly on my side. And know one knew about this burden. After a year of that refining, getting completely rebuked by the Lord, my heart was humbled and I began the grieving process. The last year...well you all know what's happened theses last nine months.

I'm so glad those days of separation are over. And writing about my marriage encounters is for another time. But again, I could throw another fit right now over the pain, the absolute heartache of leaving this beloved town and precious people. Why am I not?

because He. is worthy. of the sacrifice.

did you get that?

HE is Worthy of it.

WORTHY.

The Lord Jesus himself left his heavenly home, bore my sin, died a vicious, horrific death, so that I may, some day, be at rest. forever.

He knows this pain. He understands this sacrifice. And only He does. And only He is worthy.

I love my husband, more now after this process than before. But even that love has been tried over the matter. And there were points I wondered if he was worth it. In all honesty, the answer was often "no." This is not what I signed up for when I got married.

Then I'd ask if my kids were worth the pain. Maybe more so, but only because I pray the way I handle this and the way I try to lean on Jesus will be sown in their spirits. That they will realize whatever Jesus asks of them is worthy of obedience no matter what it is. But even then, in their often selfish demands of me, some days it would be easier to throw up my hands and say "forget. it." And some parents do.

But Jesus is worth it.

And tomorrow and the next day and the next day, I will lay it down. I'll bring my grieving, aching, broken heart to the Father and ask Him to fix it. to heal it. to restore it. to make it bigger. to continue to soften it and make it more compassionate. more like His.

He is so faithful. I know this is for my good. And beautiful things await me. Just as the vine needs trimming back to produce much fruit, so must I endure great trial to produce a faith worth more than gold. (John 15, 1 Peter 1:7) And I want that. I really do.

So. That's why I'm pressing on these last 48 hours.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for praying.

I love you!

Final Days

2010-05-19T07:18:00.008-05:00

Oh. my. It's Wednesday. We're down to five days left here. I can't believe it.

Abel finished the semester last night with the final. He goes to the rental today to await our new fridge; here, I await the "drop off" of our moving van trailer. It's a rainy, stormy morning. Quite appropriate. We've had quite a run with severe weather (mostly last week). I think Kansas is angry we're leaving too.

He'll come home tomorrow and we'll be crazy trying to finish packing and getting the house ready. This could be my last entry from my sweet home. Trying not to cry while writing this.

We've had Nonnie in town 2 weeks ago. I had to take Peter to the Ped. yesterday for what I thought was Thrush and wasn't (frustrating!) That boy is now (at 14 weeks) 15 pounds and 9 ounces. amazing.

Finally, your prayers for our family and extended family would not be wasted. We got stuff going on that reminds me to always have a foot into the Word. It is our life, our guide and our hope. We're all just two shakes away from making a mess of our lives. Only by His grace do we walk this Life His way. And let's not forget it. As I tweeted this week, sometimes is just plain old fear of the Lord that keeps me going!

Thanks everyone!

Ethan on his 6th Birthday!

Mother's Day, 2010

Nate's handiwork.

Peter at 13 weeks.

I took this picture knowing I'd laugh later. It was NOT funny at the time, mostly the icing on the cake of a TERRIBLE morning!

Sweet church friends packed up a frenzy May 12th.

"Elbow Room"

2010-05-06T13:45:00.002-05:00

Go read this.

It made me choke up.

God is so good. And I must trust Him more no matter how it hurts. And that's true for all of us.

17 days left...

busy ((BUSY)) weekend

2010-04-25T16:45:00.010-05:00

Oh, wow!! I so wish I could have joined my sweet Siestas in Atlanta this weekend. But we were crazy busy here.
(Thanks for taking me to "So Long Insecurity" on a stick! It warmed my heart so much!!)

This is Abel's last weekend home before he's done with the semester and moving us in May. We celebrated Ethan's birthday Thursday (see post below) Then on Friday, I stole away for 21 hours to the airport Hilton for our Women's retreat. What a lovely renovated place with super comfy beds and delicious food (I went back for 2nds!!) Here are my lovely roommates and dear friends! (and may I add, Peter was a DREAM roommate! he did go with me and was dearly loved on by these sweet ladies and others!)

We spent Saturday cleaning up a bit and watching the weather. Dreadful!

But today, we savored dedicating our youngest to the Lord. Our pastor and friend, Josh, did it for us and choked up a bit in the introduction. Well, that just sent me going into the ugly cry. Thankfully, we were "praying" when that happened...mostly.

Anyway, we're going to enjoy a little more family time before Abel leaves tomorrow. Then Mom arrives next Sunday for a visit. We're in the home stretch and boxes are piling up. I'll try to keep y'all up to date on things. But it might get a little tough! But we love you and thank you soooo much for praying for us!

Chatting and Giggling

2010-04-23T09:16:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, I took this video of my sweet boy. Sorry it's all over the place. But it turned out better than I thought it would!

And since it's mostly for the grandmas anyway, I'm sure they'll just love it!

Peter talking from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Celebrating a Jedi's Birthday

2010-04-22T20:15:00.018-05:00

So the theme Ethan had this year was StarWars*, even though he's never seen the movie. It's funny how kids can grasp onto super heroes with so little input. I think it must be built it.

And bless sweet Ethan's heart. Again, this year we "threw it together." If you remember, last year we were on pins and needles, waiting to see if someone called to view our home. This year, we've got boxes piled up and a husband/daddy who's in and out.

So we celebrated today, 12 days early, since Abel was home. It was fun for sure and each of the older three enjoyed the Party.

My days of "fancy" cake making are long gone. No time or energy...not mention the expense! I made a stencil and it worked great!

Nate and I waiting for Red Robin* to open. Apparently, as a young family, we act like we're 73 years old and eat at 11 a.m.

Me and the Birthday Boy!

Birthday Ears

Our Home Celebration {no, Ethan didn't pick Seafood for dinner...I'm trying to eat up our frozen groceries before we leave. And the "good stuff" needs to be eaten whilst my man is home.}

Goofy!

Guess it's good!

Presents Time!

He's learned to tell time. Seemed only right to get him the watch.

Now if only time would slow down...

Ethan's 6th Birthday from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Packing and Prepping

2010-04-15T08:46:00.005-05:00

And in the midst of both of those, taking pictures of my sweet babes! Ethan turns six in just a few weeks (three, I think?!)

I've been making my moving list and got a few things checked off yesterday. Lots of generous women from church have been staying with my kids while I run around getting the car fixed, buying birthday presents and packing supplies. So thankful for them! It's hard to believe that April 25th of last year we first listed our house for sale. Has it really been a year, already? Goodness!

We're VERY CLOSE to getting our house, which ever one it is. Abel is out looking today and may have one more to see tomorrow. But I'm glad this is just about over. It's been quite a faith journey for me since it's been completely out of my hands!

Little Updates...on Peter and our move.

2010-04-09T15:38:00.006-05:00

Photograph by Molly Winn Photography
This sweet boy is 2 months old today!!

He weighs 13.6 lbs and is 22 inches long (86% and 17%, respectively) He didn't enjoy his shots and is a bit fretful...

The last two nights, Peter has given me a 5 hours stretch followed by a 4 hour stretch, followed by another 3-4 hour stretch!

Now. I need to stop taking advantage of this and get to bed earlier than 10 p.m.!!!

In other news, we are moving 6 weeks from Tuesday. Wow. Life will begin to pick up speed as packing and painting and mulching ensue. Needless to say, we're excited about all being together again. Abel is busying looking for a rental house and this house will go up for sale shortly after we move.

Thankfully, our church family is really stepping up and I am overjoyed at the body of Christ. People are so generous!

Ok, gotta run. It's busy here!!

Do some Laundry, Help a Child.

2010-04-05T10:31:00.006-05:00

A new adventure is in the works for the House Of Vitafam!

Would you consider helping my dear friends get their little one from Uganda?

Visit their blog to get more information on how doing laundry will contribute to their need!

Good Friday

2010-04-02T14:59:00.004-05:00

I haven't seen this video since the day I started walking with Jesus my sophomore year of high school. It means so much to me. I thought it was a great demonstration of what Good Friday is all about: paying the penalty you cannot pay, to free you from the Prison you cannot escape.

Peter's Pictures

2010-04-01T14:07:00.001-05:00

Hop on over and take a looks-see.

Beautiful!!

Family Pictures!!!!!

2010-03-31T16:06:00.006-05:00

Hi all! We had a blast hosting my man's brother and his lovely wife this past week...well, 3 of 6 days, but still.

We had to let them go home yesterday, but Molly (my sis-in-law) scampers around the country, taking pictures for her clients. And while here, we asked her to exercise some photography skillz.

She sure did some amazing work. If you'd like, you can view the pictures HERE. And the good news is, another post is coming just on my little Peter. Yeah!

I'll post a few more myself soon!!

Thanks again Molly and Adam for a wonderful visit. Glad you (and your luggage) made it safely home.

We love you and miss you already!

Palm Sunday '10

2010-03-30T13:23:00.005-05:00

Just a quick snap shot of our Palm Sunday. It was Nate's first time to wave branches in church.

Second hour of service they stood next to each other. Made it much easier to take pictures!

Go Green!

2010-03-17T07:22:00.004-05:00

I'm alive.

And solo until next week.

It's been interesting but God alone is faithful and our sustainer.

And you've been praying ~ THANK YOU!!!!

And we keep it pretty simple around here.

Anyway. Please come back soon!!!

But I have 2 seconds to wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day and A Happy Birthday to my sister!! (tomorrow)

Birth "story" in Pictures

2010-02-19T13:02:00.004-06:00

Words are coming later.

Leaving the house: 5:35 a.m.

Fresh Baby!!! at 4:04 p.m.

Wonderful OB! He holds up the number child this is when patients take his pic with Baby. But only 3 of my 4 have been delivered by him. He is wonderful. I will miss seeing him regularly...but really, it's ok!! No more babies for me!

Family comes to meet Baby! The kids don't know about gender or name yet. at 6:30 p.m.

Peter's temp is too low ~ time for skin to skin to warm that Baby up!

Proud Daddy and expert Swaddler!!

Parents are back to visit the next morning and get snuggle time in! Dressed in BLUE this time.

Favorite Picture, according to the Faceb00k comments!

Getting ready to head home!

more to come....

We're ALL here!!

2010-02-18T20:57:00.003-06:00

Introducing (better late than never!)

Peter Marshall Winn
7 lbs 6.5 oz, 19 inches
born Feb. 9, 2010 at 4:04 p.m. after a "dramatic" day of labor.

He is healthy and thriving, up 1.5 oz after just six days of life. We're super busy here and I'll try to publish more information/story and pictures soon. Thanks for your patience and prayers!!

I'm having a Baby Tomorrow. What are you doing?

2010-02-08T10:38:00.010-06:00

Well, my husband is home and my parents arrived safely, despite the Winter Storm Warning that produced these beautiful pictures this morning. We are scheduled to check in at 6 a.m. tomorrow. And will be posting info via Twitter and Faceb00k. So excited to meet this newest member!

Checking Off the List

2010-01-28T19:17:00.017-06:00

Where on earth did 6 weeks go?!

Not that I'm too unhappy...this just means baby is here soon. And that is a blessing.

But Abel leaves on Saturday ~ that means 6 weeks is gone!! Woah! We're really getting to the end of our to-do list. Tomorrow is crunch day. But these bunk beds were critical to get checked off.

I ordered these the day after Abel came home and it took for-ev-er for them to arrive. Boxes 1 and 3 were delivered yesterday. But there was no way we could even begin putting them together until box 2 arrived...which was early this afternoon. Here are the men of the house unpacking the critical pieces.

Both Nate and Ethan were put to work by pick up the trash.

Charis didn't help (or at least, I didn't hear about it) but she wanted to be documented anyway.

Abel started around 2:30 and here closer to 4 p.m. is where he and Ethan were in the process.

About 4:45, Abel called our neighbor to help stack them. He told me after I asked if I could help or if they were too heavy: "I don't want you to help. Especially in your condition." I just got the biggest kick out of that!! He's right of course. And wouldn't you know, Braxton or not, I did have a contraction while they were doing it. So funny!! Everything was finished and the matresses installed just before 5:15 ~ a full 3 hour project practically. (Most likely because of the "helpers.")

Ethan is crazy about this bed! He could barely contain himself getting all his bedding up to the top before dinner (and we were having pizza!!) After dinner and ice cream, he jumped up, and kept at it. SO fun!

Nate was just as thrilled. It's a bit weird that he's sleeping downstairs now, and not because of a Tornado Watch. My boys are growing up!!!

And they are having the best time!! It sure does warm this mama's heart!

(an hour after they went to bed, I checked on Bunk Bed Boys ;) Ethan was fast asleep; Nate was wide awake, taking in all the new situation has to offer. Lord, help us tomorrow!)

Nate & Ethan getting into new bunk beds!! from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Week 37...14 days till Induction Day!

2010-01-25T19:23:00.008-06:00

Here's your 37 week belly picture.

Not much to report about today's appointment. I'm about the same effaced and only 2 cm. Baby is still very high. Which is really fine considering Abel leaves this Saturday for several days. My next appointment is in one week. However, my belly is measuring 39.5 weeks. This doesn't mean anything except my belly is big. Doesn't indicate the size of baby or an early delivery. But oh my goodness, it means my hips and back hurt!!

That goes with out say, though, doesn't it? At least this far along it should, regardless of the measurements!

I did ask a few more questions about Induction Day (though Doc said, and I agreed, it'd be much nicer to go on my own {right, Molly?!?!}) We're scheduled to arrive at the Hospital around 6 a.m. After paperwork, etc., I'll get hooked up to my I.V. and Pitocin. Apparently, once I really start "feeling" the contractions, I can get my Epidural...this is because the Epi can/will slow down the Pitocin. I think at this point, or just a little after, Doc said he'd break my water to keep things moving.

The rest is probably self-explanatory. I did ask how long it usually takes, cause I don't want to go from 0-60 in 3 hours like Charis's delivery. He said, if I start at 3cm at 6 a.m., Baby could likely arrive early afternoon. We all know there are too many variables to be certain. But it's comforting for me to have an idea.

Also, y'all can be checking back here on that day if you're not on Twitter or Facebook. My Twitter feed on the Left side bar will have a general "play by play" for those interested.

Tomorrow, I'm splurging on a manicure and pedicure ~ one last "pampering" before Abel leaves and we're closer to delivery. I sure do hope the gal is kind to my sausage toes. Ha!

20 days and counting!

2010-01-20T12:00:00.008-06:00

***update*** only measuring 1.5cm ~ guess I need to drink more water =) Baby hasn't dropped and about 50% effaced. So. Not much going on. My next appointment is Monday! ***

Hi friends and family! Here are some pictures. I'm heading to my appointment here in 30 minutes and will update here later after I get back from getting it. I've had lots of contractions this late morning. We'll see if they are doing anything!

Week 35 and Week 36

Charis and her new jacket. Thank you Aunt Molly ~ she's a fan!

"Enjoying your Company"

2010-01-12T12:41:00.010-06:00

This weekend, we tried to relax a little, knowing our lives are changing soon. We also got some amazing clearing out of the storage room.

And kitchen.

And closets.

And while I was doing that, I found "The Hiding Place" that I purchased in May. Then, forgot all about.

Till this weekend when I found it. I realized I purchased the exact. same. book. five months later in October on a date night with Abel at B&N.

This is why I'm not running for any public office, people.

Anyway, here's Ethan and daddy. Our oldest wanted to sit with us (we had been discussing baby names) and said, "I just want to be enjoying your company." LOVE!!! Nate and Charis all piled up on the couch too for a little while.

Until Nate discovered the easy living under the coffee table.

Then Charis joined in too, the little Ham!

Sunday evening was a hoot! Charis just started singing at the table and was hilarious! Her closing her eyes to sing was the impetus to catching the whole thing on video. I had to ask her to sing again and she was more than obliging. (Please pardon Charis and Nate's hummus covered face and fingers. I'd like to think it just adds to their charm...)

Charis's dinner singing from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Nate dinner Singing from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Yesterday, it got above 17 degrees for the first time in over a week. Actually, I think we hit 47 degrees ~ wahooo!! (Though, today we dipped back down, but had beautiful frosty fog cover the trees!)

I hadn't purchased winter jackets for the kids because I thought we would have moved. And sometimes, it doesn't get too cold in Kansas. Thankfully, I found these jackets SUPER on sale last week at LandsEnd.com (19.99 a piece, regular $40 or more, with FREE shipping!!) They arrived this weekend and we were able to bundle everyone up for Church.

They both had a bit of fun enjoy the crusty "snow" and getting some much needed air and exercise!

Today, Nesting really set in. I couldn't sleep early, early this morning, so I got up for a couple hours and started making my list. (I did get back to sleep for an hour or two.) Getting Charis in her big girl bed was one of those to-do's.

She is actually in Ethan's old bed (we brought it back upstairs.) He's been sleeping in the guest room because we've been waiting on his blinds...and the bunk beds (which are due to ship on Thursday ~ a month after being ordered. Sheesh!!) We think he'll need a special height-sized mattress for the top bunk. So, we made the switch. Hopefully, she'll get a headboard soon...

She's napping RIGHT NOW without having fussed At. All. Best transition of our kids so far. I'll be moving the crib into Nate's room and then he'll go downstairs into the lower bunk with Ethan, when it finally arrives.

So much transition going on here, it's freaking me out. But I know it's better to start these now before baby arrives and Abel starts this spring semester, than to wait.

Now, other items on the list need to get checked off. Some are pretty basic: oil change, drop off donations, order new double stroller (check!!) get the car seat in the car, clean the house, pack hospital bag. (I always do that at 36 weeks, which is next Tuesday, since that's the opening of the "delivery window.")

But I have a little shopping to do too and that's where I'm stuck. My favorite baby store (it's posh and I don't buy much there!) is closing down!!! So I'm headed there later in the week to see if I can score a good deal on a coming home outfit for a boy and a girl (we'll gift or donate the outfit we don't need) and a few other new baby things.

Routine is coming back after a 6 week hiatus as far as Bible Study and Playgroup are concerned. And my dear sweet neighbor has offered to do a 'Kids Day Out' program for my kids at her house FOR FREE starting this Wednesday through May. You don't know how this blesses me!

And finally, 4 weeks from today, at the latest, we'll be welcoming our new addition. Last week I felt I'd never get there. This week I realize it's NOT that far away. And Abel will leave 2 weeks from Saturday or Sunday for a couple days before returning home.

Yup, nesting is happening and time is slipping by. Better get going!! Talk to y'all later!

Charis's Birthday Review

2010-01-07T16:36:00.012-06:00

We enjoyed a family "party" and it was fun to see Charis be so much happier than Last Year, although she still got a bit shy when we sang (see video below.)

The cake was a true disappointment on so many levels. Must remedy that next year!! Good thing Charis still enjoyed it. And it was soooooo cold outside, we stuck the cake out there when we didn't need to be cutting it. (there was NO room in our freezer at all!!)

Putting "lipstick" on Minnie Mouse.

Charis's 2nd Birthday from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Happy 2nd Birthday Charis!

2010-01-07T09:08:00.016-06:00

How much you've grown, even for being so very petite!

January 7, 2010, 8:12 a.m.

January 7, 2008, 7:53 p.m. (about to get in the car to the Hospital)

10:39 p.m.

January 9, 2008, Headed home

First family pictures

First Birthday, January 7, 2009

::~~stay tuned for "party" pictures and video, hopefully tonight!~~::

2010 Checking In

2010-01-05T13:05:00.012-06:00

Hi all! Just a bit o' random for you this afternoon.

1. Had my 34 week appt today. Measuring is slowing down and I'm only 1.5 weeks ahead. And I am more sure than ever before, I'm d.o.n.e. creating babies. This pregnancy has 'bout d.o.n.e. me in.

2. It was a rough night. I slept in 2 different locations and took some Tylenol PM around 3:14 am. Abel played "Super DAD" this morning and did great!

3. Two nights ago I had 3 strong contractions ~ and I'm pretty sure it wasn't baby stretching. And even though there's only 5 weeks to go till Induction, it seems like FOREVER right now. Oh, have you done the free Baby Pool? You could win a $25 Amazon.com e-gift card. Do you need to adjust your guess based on the scheduled induction? Hop to it! (http://winnbaby4.babypool.com)

4. Charis turns two on Thursday. She doesn't like to eat bread and wasn't/isn't a big fan of cake (see last year's photos) so I decided to go to Coldstone* for Ice Cream Cake. Two important things to note. (a) They are making serious BANK on those cakes. (b) The "cake" still has cake in it.

5. Her theme is Minnie Mouse. She's recently become a fan and being the very pregnant mother that I am, I didn't take the time to really get this whole "party" thing going till about 3 days ago. So. Minnie it is.

6. We're finally adjusted to having Abel home. Not that we didn't like him being home before. But not we're feeling normal and have more of a routine going.

7. I do need to get him out on a date which we've not done yet. Would like to see Blind Side*. And get some Sushi. And gelato.

8. I've heard great things about Avatar*...but just don't feel the urgency to go to the theater for 3 hours for it. Am I weird?

9. Some fun purchases have been made in the last few weeks that will adjust our family: they include bunk beds, a Big girl bed, blinds, and new kitchen items. I'm excited about all of these! And I'm still waiting on 4 deliveries. Waiting on post holiday deliveries kills me!! And most still won't be here for another week!

10. For New Years, Abel and I each made three goals. And then three goals together.

11. Love that I'm getting to read some challenging books. Frustrated that I'm so tired I don't have time to read as much as I want.

12. It's been c-c-c-COLD here. I saw this last night on weather.com's webpage "C-O-L-D: Cold Occupies Large Domain" Yep. That 'bout sums it up.

13. All of us are looking forward to seeing family in a few weeks for Baby's arrival. The boys have been most interested in what they are going to do when Nonnie gets here. I think they might be a bit distracted by Nonnie's dog Scooter. I'm excited about Scooter. Hope he's up for an energetic visit.

14. California is coming closer and closer. We are thinking we'll move in June and put the house up on the market empty. Please pray for our wisdom as we seek to make major, MAJOR decisions for our family.

15. I feel about as interesting as a wet noodle. Calling it a blogging day and am going to go rest. Y'all have a good one!

picture taken 11/14/09. The kids love raspberries!!

Christmas '09 Recap

2009-12-30T07:15:00.010-06:00

We were expecting a "blizzard" and boy, did the snow blow. Our accumulation wasn't much, praise God! It was certainly cozy though!

Christmas Eve, we ate an early dinner at 4:30 and then got all the kids ready for bed. It had been quite the day. They were more than ready for bed at 6:30!!

But before they all got tucked in, we turned off the lights in the house, plugged in the Tree and spent a good while taking turns picking Carols to sing. How fun!

Christmas day, very well rested, we enjoyed a wonderful PEACEful morning ~ a true gift from the Lord after the rough week the siblings had. Breakfast included our Traditional cinnamon rolls, courtesy of the Pioneer Woman ~ seriously, you need to try them. (If you do, quarter the recipe for one 9x13 pan.)

They. are. amazing. (Oh, and right now, you can get her cookbook for $11.50 at amazon.com. It is a GREAT price...and I just ordered mine today!) We also had some Spinach Sausage Fritatta to balance out the sugar...

We read The Story in Luke 2 and sang "Happy Birthday" as we placed Jesus in the manger. We did stockings and started with the presents...

I had two very. happy. boys.

And this girl was content with this present opened in the beginning. After she opened it, she really didn't feel a need to open any more and kept saying "No thank you" to the others. We did help her finish out in the end, after her brothers were mostly done.

Lots of building materials, books, baby toys and Cars...

Nate needs more Cars like an extra leg, but the boy knows what he wants...

Her Royal Princess...

We were over Turkey after Thanksgiving and I had planned to make Prime Rib. But the two places I looked here didn't have it. And I wasn't about to search the whole city. Besides, you would think in Kansas, every grocery store would have prime rib. Seriously, you could have knocked me over with a Feather.

Anyway, back to Pioneer Woman. She really saves the day! We made this for Abel's birthday and he requested it for Christmas. Since, you know, the two stores didn't know what Prime Rib was.

Add to the deliciousness of steak/onion/cream/Gorgonzola cheese sauce, the BEST.salad.ever (that would be Spicy Pecan salad, by the way. The apple/green onion/romaine/spicy pecan mixture with the homemade dressing CANNOT be beat!!) and some of the regular "fixin's" rounded out our meal.

And my oldest child only ate Steak (no sauce), rolls and peas. He's a real champ when it comes to Holiday meals. {wink, wink}

Here's a picture. The kids' good attitudes had lapsed back into normalcy by dinner time. 'Verge of Tears' is what you see with Nate's present look.

We finished off with a Birthday Cake for Jesus and ice cream. Cause really, that what the day is all about.

And Kids get that.

Now as we head into 2010, I must say I'm a tad more than excited...this year has been incredibly difficult for me and so many close to me. Good, hard lessons in Faith and Trust were learned and needed to be if we are to grow as Romans 5:3-5 says we will. But, whoosh!! I'm praying that this new strength and knowledge get me a good head start on next year's coming trials!

6 weeks and counting

2009-12-29T17:53:00.011-06:00

33 weeks today.

This picture compared to THIS ONE, 2 years ago. Same sweater. Different hair.

(And add 3 gestational weeks to the older picture.)

So. funny.

One word: HOMESTRETCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-21T16:03:00.008-06:00

I just wanted to check in before we head out to a family Christmas party with Abel's old boss. My 32 week OB appointment was today and am continuing to measure 2 weeks ahead of schedule (that means I'm measuring 34 weeks right now!)

Doc went ahead and scheduled me for an induction for February 9th ~ that is only 7 weeks away from tomorrow. Praise. the. LORD!!!

Abel is home now for about 6 weeks. He'll have to go back to Chapman to teach his February 2 class and we hope he'll be able to return (weather permitting) right away on the 3rd to await this baby's arrival. So, now, we just pray for baby to stay put for those 3 or 4 days until Daddy is back in town!

Finally, my sweet sister-in-law Molly has been soooooo patient for a pregnancy picture. I finally remembered to have my man take one before I left for my appointment. Usually, I'm not "picture ready" but one has to look pulled together for the Doctor...

So, here's big belly me.

It's not cute, but it is real. And final. We'll check in again with another picture or two soon. It's a bit crazy round here these days!

If I don't get to posting again this week, have a very blessed Christmas. He truly IS!

Numbering my Days

2009-12-11T06:52:00.007-06:00

My prayer for today...

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God...So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom...Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days...Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!"
~ Psalm 90:1-2, 12, 14, 16-17

Our First (and last) Baby Pool

2009-12-01T19:51:00.004-06:00

Today, a friend suggested I do a pool for this baby. It sounded like fun, so I just finished setting one up. (and now I can get ready for bed...so. very. tired. today!)

Join in the free fun and a chance to win a $25 electronic gift card from Amazon.com! Make sure you read our "Pool's" homepage for insight on this pregnancy and more information on winning. Click HERE to guess and Good Luck!!

(if you have questions, you can leave them in the comments and I'll respond back to you in the comments!)

Because I can do this fast and it's fun...

2009-12-01T13:11:00.007-06:00

Get to know you: Christmas Edition

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags: both ~ depends on the gift and the person (and the cute coordination of tissue paper, bows, etc.)

2. Real or artificial tree: um, real. I'm married to an Oregonian and that State has many businesses growing trees for this. very. purpose. (no, I'm not frustrated with fanatical environmentalists...why would you think that?!?!)

3. When do you put up your tree: the day after Thanksgiving we go to the lot and pick one out. This year, though, we waited an extra day because the house was on the market. Not anymore though, hallelujah!

4. When do you take the tree down: well, it depends. Two years ago, we took it down the afternoon of Christmas because I was 3 cm and expecting to deliver my baby girl at any moment. Last year, it was the day after Christmas. This year, probably the same. I grew up doing it after New Years. But with young children, I just like "getting my house back." I bet I'll change my mind in a few years.

5. Do you like eggnog: only in a latte. and only when it's offered to me. I wouldn't go buy an eggnog latte.

6. Favorite gift received as a child: hmmm...I really don't remember right this minute. Mom, what do you think?

7. Do you have a nativity scene: yes, 3 or 4.

8. Hardest person to buy for: hands down, my man. But then again, he's also the "easiest" ~ "cash is the gift certificate to anywhere!!"

9. Easiest person to buy for: my oldest. Ethan loves everything and wants everything, especially as a 5 year old.

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received: hmmm...again, nothing is coming to mind right away. But even if I did remember, I don't think I could share it...

11. Christmas Card ~ mail or email: AHHHHHHH!!!!! decisions, decisions. I think we're foregoing Christmas cards this year and will wait to send out baby announcements in February. Just not enough money to do it all. We did this with Charis's birth too. But when it comes to Christmas, I'm all about the mail. Something is so fun about putting up all those photographs!!

12. Favorite Christmas movie: White Christmas. I cry every time. Love it!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas: year round...always looking for something. I hate the stress of the last minute.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present: I'm sure I have.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas: not fair to ask a PG woman this question...right now I'm LOVING my soft, chewy Ginger snaps. But I also love, love, LOVE these Pecan Squares I found in a Christmas edition of Southern Living Magazine one year. YUM!!

16. Clear or colored lights on the tree: clear.

17. Favorite Christmas song: "O Holy Night" and "Jesus Saves."

18. Travel or stay home for Christmas: stay. home. (sorry, Family!)

19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeer: not sure, but I'd make a go of it.

20. Angel or Bow on top of your tree: Angel that we purchased on our honeymoon in Victoria.

21. Open presents Christmas Eve or morning: one present on Christmas Eve, the rest in the morning after reading the Bible and singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and laying him in the manger.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year: hmmm. It's so very easy to lose the purpose behind this Celebration. I'm sooo guilty of it (see following question/answer.)

23. What I love most about Christmas: the coziness of the Season. It can rear it's head as "laziness" but the ease in which most people are less "type A" is wonderful!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T08:10:00.009-06:00

We're busy round here but wanted to check in to say "Hello" and wish each and every one of you a Blessed Thanksgiving. This year, more than ever, we must see that money is not what matters most! Our family and friends are so very dear.

But like many of you, where would I be, what would I be, without Jesus?! He is becoming more and more dear to me ~ something that when I first started walking with Him, I never would have thought possible! I'm so thankful!

Psalm 100
A Psalm for giving thanks

Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
We are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the LORD is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations!
~~~~
On a side note, a blog friend posted this today. Let us be prayerful and aware, friends. The Enemy is prowling around, looking for someone to devour! (1 Peter 5:8)

October in One Shot

2009-11-12T18:42:00.005-06:00

Oh. my. goodness. Sharing a whole month of activities in a single post is insane...but so was this month.

The first weekend, the kids and I drove to Tulsa to see my parents, who hadn't seen the kids since the first of the year. Literally.

The following weekend, was my man's birthday and my trip to Memphis!

Abel's 31st birthday from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

LPLMemphisBethClips from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Then on the 21st for five great days, sister and her boys came to visit! What fun to see the cousins together! Sister also presented Nate and Charis with the quilts she made them. How beautiful they are and what talent!! Thank you so much for the keepsakes!

nate and charis receiving quilts from Rachel Winn on Vimeo

Before my man came home for Halloween weekend, I made some bagels and posted about the whole experience HERE

The day after Abel arrived, we had a Harvest Tea (right before he got sick...)

Then we dressed up and got some candy for the kids.

Charis was a dancer!

How is she so grown up?! and How on earth does she have so much hair?!! Guess it's time for another baby! {grin}

Ethan's surprise costume was borrowed from our neighbors. But he loved being Bumblebee.

And Nate was the best Batman I've ever seen!!!

After we went to a few houses in the neighborhood, I took Ethan to a Harvest Party with our neighbors for a short time. It was held at their old church. He was a little unsure but I think he had fun overall. Our family isn't super crazy about this holiday. But the kids sure do like dressing up!

Halloween 2009 from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

We got back from California very late on Sunday afternoon and are just now adjusting back to our normal life and schedules. Would you believe I didn't take a single picture during our time out there?! Not kidding.

Abel was with us on the flight out and drove up from work last Thursday afternoon to share a second weekend in a row with us at my parents. I felt so spoiled getting to see him 7 out of the last 14 days! And then he'll be back for about 10 days over Thanksgiving. Yeah!

We decided to go ahead and extend our contract on our house one more month (thru November 30th) and after that, take it off the market till next spring. I am praising God over the peace and contentment I have in this really strange situation. And so, though hard days are sure to come, I know we've done all we could on our end to make this move possible...seems God has some better plans than are waiting in the wings.

Well, we'll talk to ya'll hopefully much sooner than two weeks! At least, I know there'll be a Bread post coming up this weekend (but between you and I, I've already baked the Brioche...I'm just waiting till it's time to talk about it.)

'Night!

Breakthrough!!!

2009-10-27T18:56:00.018-05:00

Oh, y'all. I am so very excited. This last week, God has been showing me some amazing things and I am beyond blessed.

My sister was here these last 5 days and my daughter was sick last Monday so it's been quiet for a few reasons! However, I just have to pop in during this busy, busy, BUSY week to share what I've been learning through the Word!!

(real quick, our part of the Thanksgiving cruise was canceled because of how far along I am in this pregnancy, so I've moved up the date to visit my parents in CA. Next week, we'll be gone so look for more writing/photos the week of the 8th! Sad though we are to miss out on that vacation, I think with this current work-separation from my man, the very best plan for us is what is to be! God is so wise!)

As I wrote two posts ago, this extended season of quietness with the Lord has been a new thing and more than a bit frustrating to me. Little by little, pieces have been falling into place and some huge ones just this week.

I've been experiencing a bout of pregnancy insomnia (well, I suppose any woman with hormones knows about that, can I get an 'amen?'). Well, not insomnia per se. I can sleep for about 4-5 hours. But then have the hardest time getting back to it. August and September's lack of sleep was due to anxiety, but these last days I believe the Lord doing something good. Part of the reason I'm confident about this is that I'm not exhausted and my temperment has traces of the "fruit of the Spirit." {grin}

While sister was here, we talked a lot about what God is and has done in our lives this last year. Her story is amazing, as you can suppose. And mine I was still working through (perhaps still am...but I feel like we're near an end...) As I was talking with her I referred to the thoughts I had written in that post.

Well, one night while she was here, I was in a dream-ish (but definitely not sleeping) place just earnestly sharing my heart with the Father. I've felt so unlike myself lately, and it isn't the pregnancy I'm talking about. I told Him my frustrations over my feelings, my desires over His Word and will in my life and confessed that all those things don't match up with His Word right now.

And during that early morning, the song "As the Deer" came to mind from so long ago and I thought, "YES! that is what I want to want! and that truly is what I need." Somehow, getting up before the children happened and I searched my concordance for where the words appeared in scripture.

Psalm 42 (ESV)

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?"
These thing I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and the Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me.
By day the LORD commands his steadfast love; and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"
As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long,
"Where is your God?"

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
~
There is no way to express how I knew the Lord himself had directed me to read this. I've put in bold the parts that spoke most to me.

This psalm showed me my issue so clearly. And the Truth has certainly set me Free!!! The Enemy of my soul was LYING TO ME!!! And because of all the distractions, I was believing it! Even though my soul knew it wasn't true. And through the summer, through this weaving of quietness and desiring God's presence more, He has shown me the amazing truth behind 2 Corinthian 10:5.

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ."

Friends, I have no idea where you are, but test your thoughts about your situation and about your God against His. own. word.

And then choose to believe Him.

And if all remains silent, trust Him. He is working out something amazing.

This song played on K-Love this weekend when I was out running errands by. my. self. (thank you sister!!) and it is exactly where I am. It's probably been out a while, so I think this was my time to hear it. (I love when God does that!)

And finally, I'll wrap up this post with a quote I put on Facebook after doing Session 5 of Esther.

"God is always active in our time of 'wait...' Our strength will be depleted when we wait upon an event/thing/person...but waiting upon the LORD, our strength will. be. renewed." (see Isaiah 40:31)

In a way, I knew this when I wrote this post...but now it seems even more affirmed. I feel so much at peace about our situation. It's not turning out at all like we thought but it is well!!! And we are doing truly great.

Please keep praying for us as linked in the previous paragraph. And thank you so much for all the praying you've each done for us. We are so grateful!!

Bread, round 2

2009-10-16T21:07:00.003-05:00

I got my Artos done.

No LPL Memphis pictures, but bread, yes.

No really, I had to get back to my oldest's quasi-schooling, and it was truly easy to have the KitchenAid on while doing our Worksheet, Handwriting and Math today.

Anyway, click here if you're interested!

The Big Picture

2009-10-14T20:17:00.014-05:00

Recounting this weekend, as any conference attenders can attest, could create a small novel. And while that might be fabulous for some friends to read, most of y'all just do not have the time to park it at this ol' blog for 30+ minutes.

(can you imagine reading all 13,000+ women's experiences?!?!)

For a wonderful overall recap, visit Melinda.

These sweet bloggers/friends shared specific impacting points:
~BigMama (on her site and at AllAccess)
~BooMama blogging at AllAccess
~Stephanie
~Robyn
(I'll be editing this post when more friends put up their thoughts)

But as for me, the "life camera" took a huge zoom Out and I came away with a greater, deeper understanding about what (perhaps) God is doing right now in my life. At least, my outlook was altered by this weekend.

On the way to Memphis, I was reading back through my current journal, which begins in July, and many phrases stuck out over the months. Many of you already know what this season has been for me and my family...a transition that is broken up and not moving forward.

But on a more spiritual level, it has been a "quiet" season. And for the life of me, I didn't understand why I wasn't hearing from Him like I had! After such an amazing show of His Glory in January over my nephew, I wasn't expecting Him to go quiet. Here is a peek into my heart over the last few months:

July 9 ~ journal entry "Father, help my unbelief. I'm straining to see you, to know where you are here. I believe this isn't for nothing. But where is the 'something?'"

Sept 6 ~ Notes from a sermon entitled A Heart not Satisfied: "'We can be too passive in our relationship with God. He does pursue us, but how much do we want God? We all have seasons of feeling far from God ~ but we don't have to accept as normal a lack of intimacy with God. We need to pursue Him.'" (emphasis mine)

Sept 20 ~ journal entry "It's not an accident I am where I am and things are as they are. So I turned my thoughts to look for You, to start seeking where You are in this season. You've never left me alone, you promised you wouldn't. So I can expect to see your hand some. where."

Sept 21 ~ journal entry "Talk to me, Lord, let me know you are there."

Then last week, I started doing Esther. And of course, Beth shared (allow me to paraphrase) you can learn as much about God through His absence in Scripture as you can through His presence.

Yesterday found me meditating on Psalm 119:10 "I seek you with all of my heart, do not let me stray from your commands."

And finally, the theme for this Living Proof Live weekend was "Going on a Wild God Chase."

Her very first question: "When was the last time you asked 'Who is this God?!" referencing Luke 8:22. (um...all. summer!!)

We stopped briefly in John 14 to be reminded, if we love and obey Christ, He will show himself to us, which means a personal revelation! It's been promised to us!

From there, we landed in Exodus 34:1-10 for the rest of the weekend. These verses are continually quoted through out the Old Testament, yet we rarely consider the importance of who God says He is. Some of the other ladies have fleshed that out a bit more. But these 7 self-disclosures tell us all about the Character of God. And when life doesn't make sense, if we know His character, we will be able to walk forward on a sure Foundation, continually developing our faith, confidence in Him and increasing our depth of relationship with Him.

As we studied over the day and a half, there was so much I loved. From the honest praise and worship (oh, did we sense His presence!!) to the Teaching. But here are three specific phrases that I keep mulling over:

~"Blessed is the one who needs Jesus because she will. get. Jesus!"
~"Sometimes, we can just pamper ourselves out of a good Walk. We are so afraid to live here on Earth in the danger zone. But after this, we'll spend eternity in bliss!!"
~"Sometimes there is a gap, a lack, an absence to let us know there is only ONE who is worthy to fill it."

So, now I feel a sense of excitement as the Lord takes me to a fresh, new, deeper place with him. As He has promised to never leave me or forsake me, I must trust His character even when I can't see Him working. I love this quotation from J.I.Packard:

"A little knowledge of God is worth more than a great deal of knowledge about Him."

Is it easy or comfortable? No. But I am confident it will be more than worth it!

Hopefully, in my next post, I'll share my pictures! How fun it was to be apart of this wonderful group of women over the weekend. They are a hoot and I was blessed tremendously!

Living Proof Live Memphis, I Heart You.

2009-10-13T13:06:00.008-05:00

I've got lots to share. But had a very busy weekend and then had to jump back in to single parenthood. So it'll take some time to share. But here's video recaps and so many of my friends "made" it on Rich's! (he he)

Incidentally, the theme was "Going on a Wild God Chase." That is my life right now! So good!

Doors Open LPL Memphis from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

Living Proof Live - Memphis from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

Bread-baking, round 1 ~ check

2009-10-04T21:38:00.003-05:00

Just a super quick post to say I've finished my first bread project.

You can click here for a looks-see.

Exhausted from this weekend, especially today. Will post more...sometime! It's going to be a BUSY week!

In one week...

2009-10-02T09:06:00.008-05:00

I'll be HERE with this amazing Teacher in the gorgeous state of Tennessee!!

Meeting a whole bunch of new blog people (friends!) who I just L.O.V.E. (plus so many, many more!!!)

Worshiping with this Leader and his team.

And getting a little 2.5 day Vacation from the reality that is my life, .

But this weekend, we're doing a little something too, me and the kids. I'll tell you more about it soon!

Have a great weekend!

New Adventure

2009-09-30T19:37:00.004-05:00

Hey all. Lots going on this week and I've got plenty to share.

But it is busy and all I wanted to let you know is that I'm part of a new adventure.

Don't ask me how I'll manage it...there may not be much I can do. But it's a foray into baking with dear friends across the country and I'm sure it'll be fun.

If you'd like to be a Half-Baked Beauty, read how to join on the side bar!

Baby 4 Sono? Check.

2009-09-25T12:54:00.009-05:00

Abel didn't make it home. Darn!

But we'd planned to have Ethan go with us in the first place. Here we are getting ready to leave.

In the waiting area, reading "Green Eggs and Ham."

Hmmmmm.......I chuckle at this one.

Here are our Sonogram pics. The Tech was so great, telling me to close my eyes as she maneuvered around till we got to a 'safe' place for looking again.

(By the way, I can't believe I'm halfway done with this pregnancy!!!! Thankfully, I enjoyed every bit with my 3rd because there hasn't been time with this one!)

Final "stats"
Weight: about 12.2 oz
Est. Due Date: 2/15/10 (doc had said 2/16)
Heart beat: 149 bpm

All in all, very good! 20 week appointment is scheduled for Monday.

I'll add descriptions...my fourth time around I could see it all right away. But I know it can be tough!

Front of Face

Front face on with yawn, arms by head (all my kids did this!)

Profile, elbows in foreground, hands by ears

Feet! First time I've seen "flat" feet...usually my babies are all curled up!

Afterwards, Ethan and I went home to our backdoor neighbors to pick up my other two munchkins and get to the airport for Abel's arrival. We had lunch, are now home and letting my very tired, croupy Nate make up sleep and Charis get her beauty sleep.

Abel and I have a date planned for this afternoon/evening and hope tomorrow to take the kids back to the Nifty Nut House. This will be Abel's first time though ~ F.U.N!!

I'm praying the time doesn't go too quickly. I feel kinda cheated already.

Unless God preforms a miracle...

2009-09-24T20:19:00.004-05:00

Abel will miss the ultrasound in the morning, due to technical problems with the plane in California and that DFW doesn't have any flights leaving at 6 a.m. on American.

Guess it's good we're not finding out gender. Ethan is still excited to go. But the kids will be heartbroken daddy's not home for breakfast like I said he would be.

Ok.

That's all.

It's been an incredibly long day and I'm done.

Good night.

Wednesday's Rest

2009-09-23T15:05:00.004-05:00

Nate finally caught the cold Charis shared with Ethan and me over the weekend.

Poor boy, it goes right to his chest! We decided to stay home from playgroup just because of how it sounds. I think it's improved greatly today ~ course, we've had our windows open all day with this beautiful fall weather. It was 47 degrees when I checked the weather at 7 a.m. and it only got up to the high 60s! yeah!!

Anyway, I took this picture of Charis for my friends doing Priscilla Shirer's One in a Million study. These were are super sale at Baby Gap last fall:

This is what we did this morning instead of playgroup:

My man enjoys these...or at least he DID. This is before he ate the Monster Cookies on vacation. But I still love Texas Governor's Cowboy Cookies. It makes a TON in one recipe so beware if you proceed with this recipe!

We're heading to church tonight for our second to last September Supper. What a fun bi-annual time with our church family. Ethan's just reciting his verse, then we're all headed home to get to bed EARLY!!

Daddy comes home tomorrow night! We are so. very. excited.

And I'm praying our colds are just about gone by then!

Little Updates

2009-09-20T13:24:00.006-05:00

I mentioned last week that we went up to Kansas City Friday for a night with a dear friend. I was a very generous mama and let both Terry and Frogger take a turn at the wheel.

The boys were proud of their buddies doing a good job!

Then this sweet thing had 2 major accomplishments this week:

First she's starting to finally eat some eggs. After her reaction at 6 months and subsequent negative interactions with even baked goods, we were steering clear of them for a while. Now, she's doing fine and ate some of my scrambled eggs the day before these pictures. She didn't care to have her own, mind you, when she had them. But at least we're beginning to expand our breakfast horizons!

Secondly, we are just now (and finally!!) getting this girl into 18 months clothes (...she's 20 months!) We had some bad days with diaper rash and I think a small part of the problem was her pants being too small.

Unfortunately, 18 month pants can still be...a bit big. Her daddy won't believe she can actually kinda fit into this outfit...but he'll probably also be glad she's not growing quickly, since he's so far away!

Abel does come home this weekend! yeah!

And we'll be pretty busy until he does, thankfully! We have our ultrasound on Friday and are praying baby is healthy (and no, we're still not finding out!)

I won't pretend that all is peachy here. It's pretty hard.

I've been listening to/reading a lot of Jill Briscoe lately and it's been so encouraging and convicting, reminding me to keep "going to the Deep Place where nobody goes." I hope, if you've not hear of her, you'll listen to some of her teaching at OnePlace.com. She, her husband and son all teach but here's a specific link to her most recent podcast. It's worth your time alone to listen to her accent.

(smile)

Truly, only the Lord Himself is sustaining us. I heard recently, "You won't waste a prayer on us." And I second that. If we come to mind, you can pray ANYTHING for us and I'm most certain it'll fit.

Thanks for continuing to check in here. I pray you are finding His grace sufficient for your day as well!

"Socialization"

2009-09-17T08:51:00.010-05:00

Great post on homeschool and the "socialization" question. I, in fact, agree very much with this article, while recognizing there's both sides of the bell curve. I've seen both kinds of homeschool students.

Oh, and I never linked to this post by Boomama. I read it on a day where I really, really needed to lighten up. And if today you need yourself a good laugh, it's a goody.

And if you want to keep laughing, read some of the comments. Delicious!

The end of the first visit

2009-09-16T08:12:00.000-05:00

It was such a lovely weekend. The kids loved playing with daddy outside after nap time on Labor Day.

duck duck GOOSE! from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

Then we headed to the airport for dinner (again), changed the kids into jammies, brushed teeth, prayed and sang "good-night" songs all before we left to go home and hit the hay.

What can I say? I'm a multi-tasker going solo!

Saturday, Food Day!

2009-09-14T12:58:00.016-05:00

While Abel was home, we decided to do some fun things to eat.

Saturday we all went to The Old Mill Tasty Shop. It's the only morning they serve breakfast and it's pretty reasonable!

It's been around a long time and used to be a soda shop, back in the day. (I'm not sure when it opened.)

Then, Saturday night I decided to actually cook. Haven't done that in a while because it's been just me and the kiddos. Time and energy would be unappreciated... But I'd seen Pioneer Woman's recipe for this steak sauce earlier in the week and knew I would love it...

More importantly, my man would love it.

So, we made the meal (courtesy of Walmart's* reasonable steak prices) and boy, it was delish!!! I highly recommend "throwing" it together the next time you're grilling. I did use Gorgonzola cheese despite PW's request not to alter the ingredient because I really can't stand blue cheese. It was still fabulous!!

(Oh!! and side note Pregnant women, as far as I've seen on all the labels I've checked in two different states in different regions of the country, all blue and Gorgonzola cheeses are made from pasteurized milk here in the USA. So, happy indulging to you!!)

Here's my man's plate... that watermelon was perfect. Truly, it rivaled the California fruit he'd been raving about on his visit.

Then I "threw" together Beth's Texas Sheet cake. It's very similar to my mom's recipe, but I wanted to taste the difference. What a nice way to finish off our special meal.

We shared with our neighbors 'cause it makes a TON of dessert and we were also able to bring some to ABF for a potluck breakfast the next morning.

While I know not every man is the same, I'm so glad a significant way to my man's heart is through his stomach. Some incredible food sure can be the way to mine!

I should have spoken "plain"er

2009-09-10T13:53:00.003-05:00

One week ago, my man flew in around lunch time, so I took the kids to eat at our airport's Burger King before daddy arrived.

I told Abel I'd get him something to eat on the road. Here's the order I gave the worker:

8 piece nuggets
5 piece nuggets
Whopper Jr with cheese
Whopper plain
(of course we got some fries)

I'm sure you see where this is going.

He confirmed my order and I picked everything up, bagged Abel's and the kids and I ate.

While we were waiting (after we finished) Charis stepped on my purse where Abel's bag of fries and Whopper were waiting. I just sighed and figured he'd understand.

As we heading down the highway, Abel burst out laughing. "What's this?!" he said.

I just joined him in the hilarity. As you can see, the Whopper without cheese that this pregnant brain meant to order, ended up being a truly "plain" burger, squished with love by his daughter.

I suppose it was a good thing I had pocketed some ketchup...but it was supposed to be for the fries.

On the subject of fast food, if you've not yet seen Bon Qui Qui at King Burger, you need to.

Oh, and on the subject of recommendations, I am so. very. sorry. to any of you that watched the season premier of Glee* last night based on my praise of the teaser episode last spring. I had no idea what direction they would take the show; and you must know, I was completely embarrassed and mortified that I had suggested you see it. m'kay?

Anyway, tomorrow we head up to KS City for the night to see a dear friend while her man is gone too.
Six kids, two adults and Marley and Me. Sounds good to me!

Wednesday...what day?

2009-09-08T08:59:00.006-05:00

There are some days I'd rather forget ever existed and last Wednesday was one of them.

The night before, Nate threw up in bed, and woke up crying at 10:40 p.m. We had to eat out Tuesday for dinner and something, I suppose, didn't agree with him.

I had popped some Tylenol p.m. before hitting the hay for a headache. So you can imagine how grateful I was to actually hear him, to be coherent to strip his whole bed, start laundry, and get him showered and back to bed 30 minutes later.

(I'm looking into getting a back up twin waterproof mattress cover...it just screams "wise-idea" with 4 children in the house, doesn't it? Maybe I should even get TWO!!)

Surprisingly, I did manage to fall back asleep but of course I wondered if it all would hit again.

When I heard him the next morning, I was thrilled he seemed ok. And as I was moving laundry and directing my oldest to do I don't even remember what now, Nate decided to say good morning to Charis.

He put every single blanket, buddy and book in Charis's bed then climbed in to join her. She seemed tickled.

It really was funny and he wasn't in trouble (frankly, I was glad he wasn't still sick). However, the lack of sleep was hitting me already and I was just wishing I didn't have to organize all that again.

After that, lots happened.

'nough said.

We started Ethan's second year of Cubbies that evening. And when he got out of the car, he was limping and crying. (confession ~ motherhood has all kinds of high peaks and low valleys. After the day I had, my reaction to this physical development wasn't a high point, I assure you.)

There are 2 couples team teaching his den. These men happen to have been in a study with Abel and Ethan was glad to know they knew his daddy.

Can you tell he wasn't nearly as excited to be there as last year?

My neighbor brought Ethan home and told me his leg was still hurting...and he really did sound in pain.

Right after the brief chat with his daddy, I had Ethan lay down and tried to "diagnose" the problem. The pain was on his shin but he was limping.

Hmmm.

I put him in the tub then "googled" his symptoms. My best guess was that it was a charley horse, especially because he had been playing just fine before leaving to go to AWANA and hadn't bumped or hit his leg on anything in between locations. But he certainly didn't act like I do when I get one. I did what I could do for a muscle cramp, according to my reliable source, the Internet.

He got a dose of Children's Motrin and Tylenol, lots of water to drink and I spent a good 15+ minutes rubbing his calf with Aquaph0r after the bath. Finally, after many requests to go to bed (bless his heart, he was tired!) off I sent him an hour after getting home. It was so late for him! All I could hope was that good sleep would allow his body to finish relaxing the muscle.

But of course, all night I was concerned it wasn't just a charley horse...

Ugh.

I was very much looking forward to Abel's arrival just 15 hours later!

More on that soon...

My "Boyfriend" is back!

2009-09-05T08:09:00.003-05:00

He flew in on Thursday afternoon and gets to stay for the longest visit he'll have this semester ~ till Monday evening! We're all have a great time enjoying him!

So funny (and very sad) to see how much the kids missed their daddy. Charis was a little unsure at first and gets very sad at daddy's discipline. sad.

But I'll be back with some pictures and stories from last Wednesday on when life gets back to the new "old" normal.

Happy Labor Day!

Airplane?!?!

2009-09-02T07:28:00.003-05:00

The last couple mornings, during school, Nate and Charis have turned, what used to be for weeks prior, the typical morning "tea party" into an airplane ride.
(the smallest part of me that knows grammar feels like that sentence was a bust.)

Monday, they were so funny! Nate explained they were going to India to visit their Compassion friends. I laughed and said "Ok! Have a good trip! Tell them all about Jesus!!" Both of them had to come out and get hugs and kisses. And Charis, when she did, had this little box on her arm (I guess for a purse.) She was waving bye-bye, walking into Nate's room, making sure I saw her all the way!

So, I finally remembered to tell Abel about it yesterday morning and he got a good kick out of it. He asked me if I took pictures. I said no. Later, I remembered that it was the 2nd round of Place Value...so, no. Not a lot got done that morning at all, let alone extra pictures.

But yesterday, our load was a little lighter...still tough but I did get in a picture and a short video.

Nate changed locations and Charis didn't play such a prominent part. But the concept is just about the same. Enjoy!

Tomorrow, I may give you a run down of our typical day doing life as we know it now. I'm sure many of you are dying to know how our life works nowadays: husband 1400 miles away, pregnant, selling a house, and homeschooling a 5 year old with brother and sister in tow. Make sure you get a good cup of coffee to keep you awake as you read (if you don't skip out all together ~ no offense taken!)

airplane?!?! from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

p.s. first time cleaning up "sickness" by myself last night. Nate overheated (and I think ate something I didn't know about!) but woke me up at 10:40 crying, poor boy! I had taken my Tylenol PM 2 hours prior and, thankfully, I heard him. More than that, after all was done and he was showered, he and I were able to go back to sleep pretty easily. Very grateful for that!

Impromtu Nature Walk

2009-09-01T07:56:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning, we struggled through school...well, really, math. Place value sounds exciting to a five year old. But the concept can lack a little, hmm, concrete-ness?

Anyway, after a longer than expected morning completing our lessons and a lot of sitting, the kids were directed outside to enjoy the day. We had read about nature in our Berenstain Bears book of Science today. And what a perfect opportunity to take a look around God's amazing creation!

We looked at the shedding bark (take THAT Jillian!) and my Tomato plant (for you, Dan E!)

We noticed the nest in our River Birch and the sticks on the ground...

A random insect on a Cattail.

And of course the rolly-pollies...my kids love them for some reason.

This fellow entertained quite a bit.

Charis went after him...as I've shared, the girl has no fear.

Then Ethan went for him...

Nate just screeched and squealed...

encounter with grasshopper from Rachel Winn on Vimeo.

He finally got 'im.

We found snails...on our garage door.

And more leaves...

This was one of two bizarre looking insects on our Willow tree. They look like leaves but really they are not. They move. I have no idea, though, what it is.

We ended the trek with my boys' treasures: rocks.

A beautiful day to observe and explore God's great world...and it just proves you don't have to go further than your own backyard to do so!

I had my 16 week OB appt and every thing looks/sounds good. Doc is so great! (one of the benefits of staying here for delivery ~ he's so, very great. Would love to be here just for that!) We chatted a few minutes and then looked to the sono-dates. Very willing to work with my man's commuting schedule and we're grateful. Did I tell you we're NOT finding out gender?

Well, we're not.

Having 2 boys and a girl, it's time for some "excitement." I had considered finding out because there is so much "unknown" going on around us. But with the sono at the end of September, all our stuff will be a bit more certain.

And, it'll keep us. all. excited. for. February. (and give us plenty of time to think of names.)

How to pray for us

2009-08-31T08:37:00.002-05:00

What a refreshing and relaxing day we had. A good Sabbath after the work of Saturday. I was so exhausted from cleaning the house and going on a walk that I didn't even get to chat with Abel before bed. My eyelids started drooping before 8:45! The only reason I had to take the Tylen0l PM was for some hip pain. What a good night's sleep!

The weather continues to be gorgeous! Today is supposed to be the same, praise God! It is such a blessing to have the ability to be outside and enjoy the day. I'm very grateful.

This week, wrestling through this new place of living, I came across James 1:12

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he as stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."

I realized that I've been asking people to pray incorrectly. With the knowledge from our realtor of current trends in the market, I am starting to see our house may not sell this season. OF COURSE, He can sell it whenever he'd like. But the fact of the matter is if people keep praying for it to sell and it never does, I am not helped. Besides that, I need prayer for the NOW. I need to be steadfast in being a wife, a mom, a friend, and a member of my church and community. The stresses around me may not go away, but I sure could use a little fortification on the areas being attacked!

So, if you are praying for us or would be willing to, these are my new requests: pray for me to remain steadfast and to know even what that means. To need and know Him deeper, as I posted a few days ago. To go through this trial not just surviving but thriving! I want there to be NO smell of smoke on me afterwards (people familiar with the B. Moore Daniel study understand that.)

Pray that I would remain his servant and a tenderhearted person. I've found myself being selfish, defensive and dismissive to people at church. Not that I need to share, but it's no reason to be unkind or rude. There are also opportunities to serve. Pray for wisdom to know how to use my time; pray that I would sense correctly what God would have me do (and there is always Good to be doing wherever we are!!) in this season.

Pray that despite the distance, my marriage would remain strong and communicative. That I would still seek Abel's input as husband and father and guard against being a one-woman show. Pray that the transitions, when he is home and then gone, will be smoother than we expect. For Abel to excel in his work and that he will communicate well to his students...and for his time at home to be both restful and productive.

For our children, that they would know how much we love them, but how much more we love Christ and are committed to seeing this season through graciously and without fear or bitterness. That they would continue to see Daddy as in charge and serving his family sacrificially. For tender and obedient spirits (is that a selfish request?!) and for them to get along well together. That at the end of the day our entire family will demonstrate the love and faithfulness of Christ in difficult circumstances.

Unless there are significant developments with the house, those updates will fade into the background for now. Honestly, there's just not enough time or energy to devote to explaining what is or isn't happening. And as I also said a few days ago, I'm forgetting I'm pregnant! At 16 weeks on Tuesday in fact. So, I think I probably should make a start at enjoying this new little one and all that he or she means to our family.

ok. done.

To leave this more serious post on a bit lighter note, here's my girl getting a washdown from the popsicle she ate last night. I think she really liked the sink and I think I loved it!

Finishing off the week

2009-08-30T13:51:00.016-05:00

It was nice to have "no school" on Saturday, although Ethan was a bit concerned at first. Friday's school work was nearly a bust (well, math and handwriting didn't go nearly as well as the rest of the week, mostly due to the other 2 children.)

We enjoyed a quieter day and I got to cleaning the house. The weather was b-e-a-utiful, so the kids were outside most of the morning. But Nate and Charis came in for a snack and saw me cleaning and wanted to help.

I directed them to things at their level and that wouldn't be in the way but still encouraged their help.

For a break in the afternoon, I made these Flourless Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip beauties...I mean, cookies.

(do you like how I can think baking equals taking a break? I agree. Ridiculous. But look at the recipe to see how easy these were, then tell me if you think I exuded too much effort.)

They. are. FABULOUS!! (I refuse to tell you how many I ate...but I found comfort in the fact they were a bit better for me than regular chocolate chip cookies...you know, full of protein and healthy fat!)

I confess to, later in the afternoon, locking the kids outside while I finishing mopping the floors...don't be too upset ~ the windows were open and the neighbor kids were out too. Plus I had made popcorn for their snack.

We had tacos for dinner and, having just done the floors and promised a picnic the day before, I had them eat outside. Only downer was the wind ~ paper plates are no match for Kansas wind!

And for the 2 of you who found Mr. Stingy's story almost worthy of a tear, now you may report me to PETA*.

He didn't last 24 hours in the jar. May he, and my conscience, rest in peace.

Pigtails, Popsicles, and Peculiar Idiosyncrasies

2009-08-29T08:13:00.006-05:00

As promised...

The day after we got home from vacation, I tried to do something new with her hair. Here's the result:

My man said she's never looked more like me. And really, that's true if you've seen some of my baby pictures.

We also officially kicked off our school year with the rest of our school district on Monday. We're not doing Kindergarten work, but some pre-K literature with math, handwriting and phonics/reading worked in. Here was the fun sewing "after school" activities.

I didn't have time to take pictures (or want to in some cases) the rest of the week. But here are some from this evening. After dinner at Target, we came home and devoured popsicles. This girl got stripped down before being allowed to eat hers. She also had some crazy wild hair from the pigtails she pulled out earlier in the evening. We may leave the pigtails alone (again) for awhile.

Ethan loves playing Transformers* these days and Nate gave me a big "CHEESE" as he went and got his Bumblebee Tranformer*.

This guy was the main highlight of yesterday's evening.

Turns out he really didn't like being in the jar...

and you need to know, my parents also have a thing about bugs/spiders in jars. It's a sickness, really.

I did wonder where my husband was for this insanely large wasp-type insect...

But one call to my back-door neighbor informed me that it may not be a wasp...

But perhaps a cicada eating insect...(he really, really wants out, doesn't he?)

Unfortunately, after further reliable Internet investigation, this was not the case. It was, in fact, a Great Black Wasp. They are mostly harmless and do take cicadas to feed their young. But a fly swatter would have provoked it, not killed it.

Aren't you glad I captured it instead?

I am every woman.

The boys are calling it Mr. Stingy. You are calling me Just Plain Crazy.

One Week Down

2009-08-28T09:37:00.001-05:00

You know, I realized I've not really posted on this pregnancy. But honestly, I've been forgetting I'm even expecting a baby on top of all this other stuff. And my friend told me yesterday, she read an article a few years ago stating that being pregnant is as great a demand on a body as climbing Mt. Everest.

Now, I feel like I'm accomplishing something!

But really, this post is supposed to be about the first week without my man living here. It's difficult to share ~ mostly because I truly do not want to complain. Not just because we're commanded to do everything with out complaining (which I often fail to do anyway!) but because the day my man left, I received an email sharing that a friend's sister lost her husband in a military training accident. He was supposed to retired in 2 months with 20 years of service behind him. They have two children, ages 9 and 7. And before marrying this husband, the same woman also lost a fiance in a car accident.

Ya'll, life is just hard.

So, I'm going to leave it at that.

This week, I saw a short video of Anne Graham Lotz and in it she says the following after describing a difficult season in her and her loved ones lives:

"...the pressures and the problems have been incredible. And yet, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to quit and I don't want to escape. And I don't want sympathy, and I don't want a vacation. And I don't even want a miracle. Just give me Jesus."

That's where I want to be. In a place where I can say with all my heart, "just give me Jesus." I know that's what I want to want. I even know that's what I really need. Nothing else, not even the sale of this home, would truly satisfy my heart.

So, that's my prayer. May I know him in this season in a way I'd not before. And at the end of it, be it soon or late, may I be a sweet fragrance of Christ to others, encompassing a greater heart of compassion than possible months ago.

I'll post some pictures tomorrow of the kids...it's been awhile since I've posted recent photos!!